More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #countries #effects

Obesity is one of the most

concerned

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concerning

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issues in the growing countries. Fast

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

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life style

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lifestyle

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is one of the main

reason

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reasons

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Fix the infinitive

apply

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cause

the

Correct article usage

apply

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obesity and it leads to many health issues at

very

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a very

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young age. Nowadays, people are quite busy with their work schedule that they do not even have time for themselves to eat proper nutritional

food

. In that case, parents give packaged

food

to their

kids

which has the highest calories. In order to

fulfill

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fulfil

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the family's need, both husband and wife

has

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have

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to work and nobody has adequate time to cook for lunch and dinner both so half of the time, they opt for the restaurant

food

or order it online. Another reason is

kids

prefer junk

food

over

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

homemade

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home made

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homemade

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healthy

food

. Due to the fact that

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apply

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social media platforms and tempting tv advertisements play a vital role to encourage children to have junk

food

for

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,for

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example, burgers and chips and make them hefty.

Kids

only need a reason to eat from the outside yet

not

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are not

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aware of the consequences. Parents, sometimes do not realize the adverse

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effect

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affect

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effect

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of the

fat containing

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fat-containing

show examples

food

For instance

, one small packet of chips has 150 gm fats and it requires an hour of

brisk

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a brisk

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walk to burn that

much

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many

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calories. New generation

kids

eat

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a full

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full fat

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full-fat

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meal

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meals

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and play games online or watch tv and do not go out to play which makes them obese. Gaining weight at

very

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a very

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young age cause diabetes and blood

pressure related

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pressure-related

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health issues. Some

kids

even have thyroid

as a result

of their accessive

wieght

Correct your spelling

weight

. In conclusion, in developed countries because of busy

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

do not pay much attention to their kid's diet which results

into

Change preposition

show examples

obesity.

Submitted by brijal_desai on Mon Nov 01 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
processed foods
fast food culture
screen time
metabolic disorders
healthcare expenditure
lifestyle diseases
preventative strategies
nutritional education
public health policy
body mass index (BMI)
emotional well-being
stigmatization
exercise regimen
eating habits
junk food
socioeconomic factors
health literacy

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities .Others say that it depends on other factors . What is your opinion?