IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The excess use of gadgets effect the child's development and body growth. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#gadgets #effect #child #development #body #growth
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In
this
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 modern era, scientists
came
Wrong verb form
come
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with
Change preposition
up with
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 new revolutions which
aids
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aid
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 in
engagement
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the engagement
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 of a generation to
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 upcoming trends. It is often argued that gadget addiction leads to the delayed milestones of the younger generation. I completely agree with
this
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 opinion and I will give my stance in the upcoming paragraphs. First of all, I believe that
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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 use of electronic devices has a Bad Influence on the maturity of the
People's
Change noun form
People
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. Even if these inventions are used in the future of children, but excess of anything is harmful for anyone. Indulging more with the gadgets is a result of cheap and easy accessibility to these products.
For example
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,
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the
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market is flooded with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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different devices which are distinct from each other with reasonable prices
due to
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presence
Correct article usage
the presence
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 of competitors or around. That's why
excess
Replace the word
excessive
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 use of Gadgets and sin the delayed physical and mental development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers.
Secondly
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, the tremendous use of technology
result
Change the verb form
results
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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decreased engagement with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, even enhancing the introvert personality among individuals.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
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,
young
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the young
a young
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 generation is less emotionally stable because they are unable to cope
up
Change preposition
with
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 the situation
due to
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
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 exposure to the surroundings.
For instance
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, today's children and aware of their real life as they are adopting themselves in
reel
Correct your spelling
real
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 life. In short easy accessibility and availability of
such
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 resources make the children less sociable. In conclusion, I opine that immense usage of appliances
show
Change the verb form
shows
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negative
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the negative
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 effect
to
Change preposition
on
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 both in terms of physical and mental development.
Submitted by mohitchahal13 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
Develop your ideas clearly and comprehensively, ensuring the reader can understand and follow your arguments without difficulty.
task achievement
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