You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter • explain why you would like the job - • give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ • say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia Write at least 150 words.

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #job #person #time #australia

Dear Mr. &

Mrs.

Change the punctuation

Mrs

show examples

Wallace, I am writing regarding an advertisement published in an Australian family and kids magazine

last

week. As you are looking for a caregiver to take care of your kid and live with you for

Correct article usage

the

show examples

short term, I believe that I am suitable for

this

role.

Therefore

, I would like to apply for

this

job, and I would appreciate

Correct pronoun usage

it if

show examples

you could consider my application and CV. I, Jenny Chen, am currently working at the ACC kindergarten in Bangkok, Thailand. I have seven years of experience in looking after children under nine years old.

However

, I plan to study

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apply

show examples

education for early childhood in Australia

year.

Thus

, I would like to prepare myself and learn more about

Australia

Correct your spelling

Australian

show examples

culture before the semester starts.

Moreover

, I love taking of children and have high energy to play with them all day. On top of that, I have the most valuable qualities which are necessary for

this

role, including honesty, reliability, and

compassionate

Replace the word

compassion

show examples

. As I mentioned above, I am pursuing my

further

education in Master of Education for early childhood.

Hence

, in my pastime, I will prepare myself to study and join the communities to gain more local experience in the land

Change preposition

apply

show examples

down under. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Jenny Chen

Submitted by kanokwann.joy on Mon Nov 01 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

226 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment

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