IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that children should be taught at school how to become good parents. do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #school #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Schools
Use synonyms
 are considered the home of knowledge.Youngsters can get information related to every aspect of life
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 some individuals assume that students should be learnt about the how they could be an ideal
parentparents
Correct your spelling
parent parents
 in
schools
Use synonyms
. I fully disagree with
this
Linking Words
 fact, because a child's
Correct your spelling
mind
ismind
Add a verb
isismind
wasismind
show examples
 not capable to understand
such
Linking Words
 types of studies.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost,individuals assume that
schools
Use synonyms
 should recognise a subject related to how to become a noble guardian.At an earlier
age
Use synonyms
,students
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 were not capable to understand
such
Linking Words
 types of serious topics.Immature behaviour always resists to them to get knowledge about the
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 responsibilities.
Moreover
Linking Words
,It would be better if children get to know about how to become
a good human beings
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good human being
good human beings
show examples
 in their academic sessions.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 many countries
such
Linking Words
 as India,Australia always reserve a subject about a good human being in the education system,because a person with a noble personality can
also
Linking Words
 be good
parentsparents
Correct your spelling
parents parents
 in their mature life.
In addition
Linking Words
 to it,the appropriate time to be
parents
Use synonyms
 is considered as 23 years of a normal human being,which is the
age
Use synonyms
 of maturity.After the
age
Use synonyms
 of 23,they have enough time to learn about how they can be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
parentparents
Correct your spelling
parent parents
.
Schools
Use synonyms
 should be related to sports education.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 give them some important tips related to being
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good guardian,for that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should not rely on
schools
Use synonyms
. In the conclusion, learning about becoming good
parents
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 an important part of life.I fully disagree with it,that
this
Linking Words
 topic should be discussed in
schools
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 young
age
Use synonyms
 they cannot understand
such
Linking Words
 type of serious topics and it would be considered as a waste of time.
Submitted by vivek16793 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Boarding school
  • Day school
  • Parental involvement
  • Independence
  • Responsibility
  • Social skills
  • Academic outcomes
  • Facilities
  • Community environment
  • Family bonds
  • Emotional support
  • Cost implications
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Diverse backgrounds
  • Parental oversight
What to do next:
Look at other essays: