IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

IELTS Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Younger generations consider taking a
gap
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year
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 to have time for gaining job
practice
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experience
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 or discovering the world . It is considered that a
Life
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out of
Change preposition
outside
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 the University provides positive personal changes. I strongly agree with the idea of taking an academic break
due to
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 the advantageous outcome it has. Nowadays, it is a common tendency that high school graduates are hesitating towards their subsequent academic speciality
,
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;
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therefore
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choosing
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, choosing
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 an upcoming
Life
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 path becomes an arduous task. A
gap
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year
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 helping out with the given issue.
Firstly
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, the research has shown that
society
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societies
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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had been taking
Wrong verb form
have taken
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 an intermission after school graduation
,
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apply
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 have become more adamant about their prospective academic goals
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moreover
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; moreover
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, they have gained a broader view of
life
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 and personal resources to draw on.
For example
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, if a person couldn’t decide what he wants to do in the future, he could expand his horizons and find insight by travelling to other countries and interacting with different people.
Secondly
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, allocating time for work before joining an educational institution
,
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apply
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 would have provided a better understanding of the real adult world
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consequently
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; consequently
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, a person would have become prepared for college
Life
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. From my personal
,
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apply
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experience
Punctuation problem
experience,
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 I could say that taking a
gap
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year
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 is highly beneficial for young people for whom
going
Verb problem
applying
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 to apply academy right after school is a complicated assignment. After my
graduation
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graduation,
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 I was in a negative mental state, having a distracted mind,
hence
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 I decided to have a break for a
year
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. During that
period
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period,
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 I had been going through therapy, which has helped me to
realize
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realise
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 many brand new aspects about my future. After taking a
gap
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Use synonyms
year
Punctuation problem
year,
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 I have successfully
doubtless
Rephrase
apply
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got into university, most importantly with a great state of mind. If I hadn’t done it, I would have been stuck in a bad psychological state and wouldn’t have been able to start an academic
life
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. It was the best decision in my entire
life
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, despite the fact that
firstly
Linking Words
 my relatives were badly tuned about it, but after they had been watching my self-growth during a
gap
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year
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, they changed their mindset.
To conclude
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, taking a break before going to an educational
institutions
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institution
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 in preference to
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
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 other countries or
get
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getting
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 a job is highly beneficial. Thereby, young people could become more adamant about their academic imminent, push boundaries and find insights
plus
Punctuation problem
, plus
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 become a
better-prepared
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prepared
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 for student
life
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to focus on a clear main idea in each paragraph to improve the logical flow.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points, which will make your ideas clearer and stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states what you will discuss in the essay. It can help your readers follow your argument better.
task achievement
Your personal experience adds a unique perspective that enhances your argument and makes it relatable.
task achievement
The idea of a gap year is well-developed, showing good understanding of its benefits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broader understanding
  • Emotionally mature
  • Rigorous demands
  • Practical work experience
  • Career direction
  • Diverse environments
  • Social skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Communication skills
  • Academic growth
  • Appreciation for education
  • Academic momentum
  • Readjust
  • Structured educational path
  • Enrich
  • Dedication
What to do next:
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