Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #years #time #people’s #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #responsibility

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It is often argued that the happiest period in human’s

lives

Use synonyms

is the time when they are teenagers because they do not worry about

life

Use synonyms

’s responsibility. While some people believe that even though

adults

Use synonyms

have

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

duties to be responsible for, they can

also

Linking Words

bring happiness because they have

freedom

Correct article usage

the freedom

show examples

for spending money. I firmly believe that

adults

Use synonyms

of working-age be able to enjoy their

life

Use synonyms

more than adolescence. On the one hand, some older people think that teenage years are the happiest time in people’s

lives

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

is because they do not have their responsibility especially, financial management

such

Linking Words

as worrying about

utility

Add an article

a utility

show examples

bill at the end of the month.

However

Linking Words

, teenagers cannot make their own money which means that their income is from parents only.

This

Linking Words

makes they do not have financial freedom.

For example

Linking Words

, Most adolescences in South Korea have to study extra classes after school. Money that they receive cannot cover the daily expenditure.

This

Linking Words

is the one factor of stress leading to an

increased

Replace the word

increasingly

show examples

high rate of suicide. I personally disagree that adolescence has the happiest time.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, people think that adult

life

Use synonyms

has more happiness, despite an oflot responsibility. The adult can work and has stable

lives

Use synonyms

which are they do not rely on someone and have more freedom in lifestyle. Especially

adults

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in the working age, they have more experience and financial power to balance between work and

life

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, many office workers in Thailand be able to hang out with colleagues during weekdays.

This

Linking Words

reflex that under heavy-duty, they have the capability to arrange

lives

Use synonyms

on the right track. I believe that they are more enjoyable than teenage years age. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

many believe that teenagers are the happiest moment in

life

Use synonyms

, they are not able to live their

lives

Use synonyms

freely as they wish. While many

adults

Use synonyms

can enjoy the moment without any financial conditions.

Submitted by ncnattaya on Tue Nov 02 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

As computers and technology develop, they can be used to teach children and teachers won’t be necessary soon. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Teenagers should have regular exams at secondary school, as this will prepare them better for life after leaving school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?