Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
are of the opinion that adolescent should spent
more Change the verb form
spend
their
spare time on social volunteer activities, which has more popular in many Change preposition
of their
school
in recent years. In my opinion, I totally agree with Change to a plural noun
schools
this
viewpoint because this
can bring several physical and mental benefits for youngsters. It also
plays an important part in their lives and career paths in later years.
First
of all, it is easily understandable that why people
have endorsed this
view that participating community
activity helps Change preposition
in community
young
generation to form cooperative skills and develop Correct article usage
the young
sense
of responsibility for Add an article
a sense
the
society. If one child is Correct article usage
apply
a
Change the article
an
introvert
person when took part in a group in the company with those being same or older age, leading to opening their relationship and avoiding Replace the word
introverted
sense
of Add an article
a sense
the sense
shy
when they are opposite with strangers. Replace the word
shyness
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Further more
, when youngsters positively participated in social works, they can gain more useful knowledge that in school is not difficult Correct your spelling
Furthermore
taught
them. Change the verb form
to teach
such
as how to represent a
morality behaviors with older. Up to the top that, they Correct article usage
apply
are become
more responsible live when they witnessed unpredicted situations is that many impoverished and difficult child but they always try their best to overcome their circumstances.
Another benefit, some volunteering activities take the amount of energy of Change to the active voice
become
have become
people
and build up mental strengthen
as well as find out their passion. To be more Replace the word
strength
precisely
, it can help them avoid Replace the word
precise
sedentary
lifestyle when they attained some physical activities Correct article usage
a sedentary
instead
of staying at home to play games or surf the web. During participating progress, young people
can explore out their habit or talented natural skill of them, after that
they Add a comma
,that
are easily chose
and follow the right of their passion and it is more Change the verb form
easily choose
succeed
in their career ladder.
In conclusion, there Replace the word
successful
are
a lot of compelling Change the verb form
is
point
for teenagers when they took part in community works. It is advantageous not only for physical and mental Fix the agreement mistake
points
strengthen
but Replace the word
strength
also
for their career in the future.Submitted by haovtm14401 on
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- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
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