IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Governments should spend money on rails rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion has been exacerbated not only
on
Change preposition
in
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 urban areas but
also
Linking Words
 on intercity highway
routs
Correct your spelling
routes
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. While
this
Linking Words
 makes the authorities think
whether
Change preposition
about whether
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 allocating more budget on road infrastructure can alleviate
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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, I feel advocating the expenditure of money on
Use synonyms
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
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 system is of paramount importance. The
first
Linking Words
 point to consider is that a large investment in road infrastructure can be particularly potent in facilitating commuters' daily travel and truck freight.
In other words
Linking Words
, roadway widening, increasing lanes and asphalt paving, to name but a few, can make a huge difference in saving time and improving
safety
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the safety
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 of individuals and larger vehicles.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
justification
Replace the word
just
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 seems understandable, road expansion and improvement do not necessarily decrease lengthy tailback, the volume of freight
traffic
Use synonyms
 or even
traffic
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 gridlock, especially during rush hour. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 were governments to
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
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 more attention to roads than rails, people would be more encouraged to use their private cars and single-occupancy vehicles which in turn may cause more
traffic
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 and accidents. Perhaps, a factor
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 justifies prioritizing trains and setting aside money for ameliorating
Use synonyms
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
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 system is preserving the environment. Nowadays, the earth has encountered serious environmental issues, including air pollution due to burning more fossil fuels compared to the past.
Hopefully
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,Hopefully
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 the greenhouse effect of
railway
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 transport is much smaller than cars, buses and trucks because most trains are electric, and they emit less carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the less carbon dioxide people breathe, the
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 respiratory or cardiovascular diseases they will experience in the long run. Equally important is the fact that rail travel and transport helps communities financially.
That is
Linking Words
, Train's fare is economical and cost-effective, especially for
shorter
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a shorter
the shorter
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distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
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. In conclusion, I subscribe to the view that governments should not spend a larger amount of money on roads owing to environmental and financial benefits offered by developing
railway
Use synonyms
 system.

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