IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Owing to the current trend, it is undeniable that online shopping has become more widespread among populations around the world within a short period which conduces to diverse aftermaths whether they are beneficial or not. From my perspective,
this
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 phenomenon tends to bring about harmful development more than favourable and I will explain my ideas why I believe like that in the essay below.
To begin
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 with, E-commerce has gradually vanished small businesses in an indirect way. As people nowadays have hectic lives, every minute is precious so they choose to purchase
goods
Use synonyms
 online rather than department stores or local markets because they do not want to waste their time spending on driving or walking to these places.
As a result
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, those small companies which cannot access the various E-commerce websites are fully affected by the consequences of shopping online' rate growth.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 method of selling causes more cheating on clients. To illustrate,
buying
Change preposition
by buying
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 products on the internet customers cannot see and examine the merchandise;
hence
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, there is a tendency that sellers will deceive consumers
such
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 as phoney products, not receiving
goods
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, or gaining
goods
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 that do not like the products on the internet.
On the other hand
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, shopping online will have a positive outcome on the businesses which are able to access E-commerce applications
such
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 as Shopee, Lazada, and eBay.
For instance
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, during the Covid-19 situation most populations who need to buy some appliance or clothing select to use these applications rather than going outside due to their safety.
Therefore
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, with
this
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 method, customers still get
goods
Use synonyms
 they want, meanwhile, vendors still have incomes. In conclusion, the consequences of shopping on the internet which supplants purchasing from shops have both good and awful developments.
Nevertheless
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, in my view, those bad beneficial outcomes outweigh the beneficial ones.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online shopping
  • shopping in stores
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • wide variety
  • comparative pricing
  • crowds
  • queues
  • price comparison
  • returning and exchanging items
  • local businesses
  • personal interaction
  • sensory experience
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