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Band 5

With all the problems in the world today, spending money on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other causes.

#world #money #space #exploration #waste
Nowadays, when we face issues
such
 as famine and illiteracy around the
world
, spending
money
 on learning our
universe
 can be counted as unnecessary. Some believe that the
money
 should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
 on other things. In
this
 essay, I will try to explain why we need to explore
space
. From the beginning of
human
Add an article
the human
a human
show examples
 race, people have been trying to find their place in
this
world
. We always tried to understand our purpose on
this
planet
, so we started learning
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
world
 around us. Once we discovered most parts of our
planet
 Earth we
started
Add the particle
tostarted
show examples
observe
Wrong verb form
observing
show examples
 stars with big curiosity. A lot of questions are still unanswered and the only solution is through exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outer
space
further
.
Therefore
, people have to study our
universe
. Another reason for
space
 exploration could be
asteroidic
Correct your spelling
asteroids
asteroid
 Armageddon, which our
planet
 faced millions of years ago
at
Change preposition
during
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 the Jurassic period. So looking for another biosphere
in
Add a hyphen
in-universe
show examples
universe
Add an article
the universe
show examples
 could be an alternative option to continue human life.
Moreover
, if someday we could find a new eco-system with new chemical elements,
then
 perhaps
this
 could lead to technological improvements, helping us manage other problems on Earth.
On the other hand
, society may question why so much
money
 should be spent on outer
space
 research when we are currently facing other more serious issues? Why should we care about potential future disasters when there are actual problems at hand, needing to be solved? So why should be saving on
universe
 learning? There are some answers to
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 questions. Enormous capital has been
wasting
Wrong verb form
wasted
show examples
 on
world
armoring
Change the spelling
armouring
show examples
, so are not we cultivating war around the
world
? If all weapon industries stop their manufacturing for only four days, it will be enough to give free education to every person on the
planet
. Even more ridiculous is that companies around the
world
 spend five hundred billion dollars annually for advertising promotions and It could be sufficient to stop starving on the
planet
. To sum up, I can say that we should continue exploring our
universe
 and pause spending
money
 on political games or on consumerism, but aim on preserving humanity.
Submitted by bokiev.sh.m on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • technological advancements
  • resource acquisition
  • inspire
  • funding allocations
  • global challenges
  • poverty alleviation
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • educational reform
  • long-term investments
  • economic growth
  • sustainable development
  • societal benefits
  • budgetary priorities
  • space industry
  • fiscal responsibility
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