IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

With all the problems in the world today, spending money on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other causes.

#world #money #space #exploration #waste
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Nowadays, when we face issues
such
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 as famine and illiteracy around the
world
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, spending
money
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 on learning our
universe
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 can be counted as unnecessary. Some believe that the
money
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 should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
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 on other things. In
this
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 essay, I will try to explain why we need to explore
space
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. From the beginning of
human
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the human
a human
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 race, people have been trying to find their place in
this
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world
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. We always tried to understand our purpose on
this
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planet
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, so we started learning
the
Change preposition
about the
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world
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 around us. Once we discovered most parts of our
planet
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 Earth we
started
Add the particle
tostarted
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observe
Wrong verb form
observing
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 stars with big curiosity. A lot of questions are still unanswered and the only solution is through exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
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outer
space
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further
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.
Therefore
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, people have to study our
universe
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. Another reason for
space
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 exploration could be
asteroidic
Correct your spelling
asteroids
asteroid
 Armageddon, which our
planet
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 faced millions of years ago
at
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during
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 the Jurassic period. So looking for another biosphere
in
Add a hyphen
in-universe
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universe
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the universe
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 could be an alternative option to continue human life.
Moreover
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, if someday we could find a new eco-system with new chemical elements,
then
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 perhaps
this
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 could lead to technological improvements, helping us manage other problems on Earth.
On the other hand
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, society may question why so much
money
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 should be spent on outer
space
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 research when we are currently facing other more serious issues? Why should we care about potential future disasters when there are actual problems at hand, needing to be solved? So why should be saving on
universe
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 learning? There are some answers to
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 questions. Enormous capital has been
wasting
Wrong verb form
wasted
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 on
world
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armoring
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armouring
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, so are not we cultivating war around the
world
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? If all weapon industries stop their manufacturing for only four days, it will be enough to give free education to every person on the
planet
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. Even more ridiculous is that companies around the
world
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 spend five hundred billion dollars annually for advertising promotions and It could be sufficient to stop starving on the
planet
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. To sum up, I can say that we should continue exploring our
universe
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 and pause spending
money
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 on political games or on consumerism, but aim on preserving humanity.
Submitted by bokiev.sh.m on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • technological advancements
  • resource acquisition
  • inspire
  • funding allocations
  • global challenges
  • poverty alleviation
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • educational reform
  • long-term investments
  • economic growth
  • sustainable development
  • societal benefits
  • budgetary priorities
  • space industry
  • fiscal responsibility
What to do next:
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