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Band 4.5

Some countries invest in specialized sports facilities for top athletes but not for the average people. Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #sports #facilities #athletes #people #development
A certain number of nations usually
allocates
Correct subject-verb agreement
allocate
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 funds for professional athletic facilities, which are available only for specific athletes, but not for ordinary citizens.
This
 is a positive development for countries that intend to participate in international games.
However
, negative on the whole since it takes funding away from the population. On the one hand, as long the government
decided
Wrong verb form
decides
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 to invest in the first class of athletes, their chance of participating in international games competitions,
such
 as the Olympic Games is greater, as these competitors have the opportunity to train in
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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 where there is a wide variety and quality of the equipment available for them.
Moreover
, it is quite common for the government to give financial incentives to these competitors in
other
Correct your spelling
order
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 to encourage them to do their best since
to win
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winning
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 a medal in an international competition is a reason
of
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for
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 pride for the whole country.
On the other hand
, the government should take care of the health and physical development of all citizens and not only sports elites. Since
,
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apply
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 every working citizen pays the same amount of taxes and should have equal rights for social amenities including specialized sports
centers
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centres
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.
Furthermore
, if society is active the number of illnesses people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 related to obesity ,
for instance
, tends to decrease and
this
 directly affects the economy of the country. In conclusion, despite the fact
to
Change preposition
that
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 winning a medal and being recognized in international competitions are a reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 pride
of
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in
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 the country. I believe that every citizen should have equal rights in terms of using sports amenities.
Submitted by raquel.santosprudente on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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