In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

Women
differ from
men
in terms of rearing offspring. The well-trodden mindset of parenting in society seems to be the significant reason for
this
tendency, in which
both
genders cannot take control.
However
, the equal
role
of
mother
and
father
is expected to take dominance, since feminism is likely to spread in the future, which supports the benefits of
women
. The outdated perception considers
women
are responsible for raising a
child
,
while
men
are breadwinners, who shoulder financial issues in a family.
This
is because a
mother
is patient and sensitive rather than a
father
.
This
biological trait gives them the superior ability in dealing with problems of upbringing a
child
. It can be exemplified by the way
women
educate their children. Unlike a
father
, who prompts and challenges a
child
to achieve a goal at school, a
mother
will support and encourage them to pursue passions,
therefore
allowing them to outperform and building a
child
’s self-esteem.
Thus
, they have
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
bonding
Replace the word
bond
show examples
with their
child
because of great sympathy and understanding,
in contrast
to a demanding
father
. It refers to the hidden bias of
women
’s
role
in raising a
child
, which is out of couples’ control.
Nevertheless
, the dual
role
of parents has become the majority in modern society, where feminism is increasingly prevalent in many countries. In
such
a way,
women
would derive more benefits from the modern perspective, the responsibility of nurturing a
child
belongs to
both
men
and
women
.
This
can relieve
women
’s mental load and enable
men
to take part in domestic tasks, which seems reasonable these days. The equal
role
of Western parents is a case in point. In
this
society,
both
men
and
women
undertake similar workloads in the family,
therefore
they
both
have time to follow their interests and share family responsibility, which strengthens the
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
and
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
relationships. It implies the progressive movement
that is
projected to be popular in the future. In conclusion, cultural pressures seem to be the underlying reason for the inferior
role
of the
father
compared to the
mother
in a family.
Otherwise
,
this
tendency is forecasted to be replaced by the dual
role
of parenting caused by feminism in the long run.
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the task question and provides relevant points, but the response lacks clarity and depth. It would benefit from a more focused approach to the topic, providing a balanced discussion of the roles of mother and father.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are supported with examples. However, the logical structure could be improved to provide a more coherent flow of ideas. Use of cohesive devices and clearer transitions would enhance the overall coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: