The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #advances #technology

Because of improved

technology

, we are observing

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

criminal offences today than in the times before. In my opinion, I strongly agree with

this

opinion and I will discuss some of the advances. In the past, a family lived relying on the father, the head of the home to provide security in the event of any threat.

However

, in the present times, advances in

technology

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

led to

Correct article usage

the manufacture

show examples

manufacture

Change the verb form

manufacturing

show examples

of CCTV cameras which are installed in

hmes

Correct your spelling

homes

, parking lots, commercial buildings as

wel

Correct your spelling

well

as the streets. These capture moments in

real time

Add a hyphen

real-time

show examples

. With the help of the images and videos recorded, Police can use

this

imformation

Correct your spelling

information

to track down thieves, burglars and offenders.

Furthermore

, mobile phones have a feature that allows one to keep track of the camera recordings even when they are miles

Correct your spelling

away

show examples

way

Correct your spelling

away

show examples

. Everyone is

awre

Correct your spelling

aware

about

Change preposition

show examples

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

presence of these cameras ,

this

creates fear amongst potential criminals and

hence

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduces

show examples

the rate of crimes.

Secondly

, the use of security key features is another excellent example of better

technology

. Mobile phones, tablets and computers now come with a feature known as password protection. Before accessing apps or making a call, a secret code or set of letters is required and

this

helps to identify the owner and burrs potential criminals.

Additionally

, some phones require face

idenification

Correct your spelling

identification

alongside the password to re-affirm ownership.

For

instance

Add a comma

,instance

show examples

the IOS 15 Apple system does not permit entry into the home page without a password and face identification, with exception of emergency calls. In the long run , there is a marked decline in the number of

cyber crimes

Correct your spelling

cybercrimes

show examples

as well as account fraud. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the decline in

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

offenses

Change the spelling

offences

show examples

today, compared with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ancient times, can be

attrbuted

Correct your spelling

attributed

to better

technology

Submitted by estherpatience294 on Wed Nov 03 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you thunk the advantages of owing a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

There is more and more outrage and anger common in society today. Why is this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Developed countries have created many environmental problems in the world, particularly in their contribution to global warming. why is global warming a problem? what can be done to reduce the dangers of global warming?

Fast food has been adopted by almost all developed countries to date and has become a popular meal option. Health experts worry this could be a problem, while other believe this is a positive trend. How do you feel about this issue? Write at least 250 words.