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Band 5

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #advances #technology
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Because of improved
technology
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, we are observing
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 criminal offences today than in the times before. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
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 opinion and I will discuss some of the advances. In the past, a family lived relying on the father, the head of the home to provide security in the event of any threat.
However
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, in the present times, advances in
technology
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has
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have
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 led to
Correct article usage
the manufacture
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manufacture
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manufacturing
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 of CCTV cameras which are installed in
hmes
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homes
, parking lots, commercial buildings as
wel
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well
 as the streets. These capture moments in
real time
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real-time
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 . With the help of the images and videos recorded, Police can use
this
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imformation
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information
 to track down thieves, burglars and offenders.
Furthermore
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, mobile phones have a feature that allows one to keep track of the camera recordings even when they are miles
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away
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way
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away
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. Everyone is
awre
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aware
about
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of
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he
Correct your spelling
the
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 presence of these cameras ,
this
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 creates fear amongst potential criminals and
hence
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reducing
Wrong verb form
reduces
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 the rate of crimes.
Secondly
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, the use of security key features is another excellent example of better
technology
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. Mobile phones, tablets and computers now come with a feature known as password protection. Before accessing apps or making a call, a secret code or set of letters is required and
this
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 helps to identify the owner and burrs potential criminals.
Additionally
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, some phones require face
idenification
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identification
 alongside the password to re-affirm ownership.
For
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instance
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,instance
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 the IOS 15 Apple system does not permit entry into the home page without a password and face identification, with exception of emergency calls. In the long run , there is a marked decline in the number of
cyber crimes
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cybercrimes
show examples
 as well as account fraud. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the decline in
number
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a number
the number
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 of
offenses
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offences
show examples
 today, compared with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ancient times, can be
attrbuted
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attributed
 to better
technology
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.
Submitted by estherpatience294 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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