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Writing Samples
Band 5

With The Increasing Use And Development Of New Technology, Many Machine Are New Able To Do The Work Which People Used To Perform. What Are The Advantages And Disadvantages Of This Trend ?

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In
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
decades
Fix the agreement mistake
decade
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, many
industries
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 have planned to introduce new
technology
Use synonyms
 in their
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
workplaces
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work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
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 and bulging of people can be replaced by technological
machines
Use synonyms
 . Whereas
this
Linking Words
 trend is beneficial for only those who manage their
work
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 and on the other
side
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this
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 may be affecting on the
workers
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 who fully
relays
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relay
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 on it . In
further
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 paragraphs,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will discuss
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 and disadvantages of
this
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 trend.
On
Change preposition
In
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 the Beginning , it is beneficial for every
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companies
Change to a singular noun
company
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 which
produces
Change the verb form
produce
show examples
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 and
selling
Wrong verb form
sells
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 out.
Firstly
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,
companies
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 manager releases
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the
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main headache from
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 mind to getting bulge of
workers
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. Technological
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machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 replace
worker
Correct article usage
the worker
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side
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.
Therefore
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, now
small
Change the article
a small
the small
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 number of
workers
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 can produce
huge
Add an article
a huge
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 amount of
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 with help of
machines
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. It may
be save
Change the verb form
save
show examples
companies
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money
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 and they use it
into
Change preposition
on
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other
Change the wording
another
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side
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 of development
companies
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 like infrastructure ,
internal
Add an article
the internal
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 design of company which attracts
Add an article
the customer
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customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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.
Secondly
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, The main issue of
company
Correct article usage
the company
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 solved
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is time
for
Change preposition
to
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produce
Wrong verb form
producing
show examples
Use synonyms
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
.
Machines
Use synonyms
 can make
Use synonyms
Add an article
a product
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 within
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 seconds.
For example
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,
Technology
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 is
also
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 introduced in farming
industries
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 and every
farmers
Change to a singular noun
farmer
show examples
 can use that
technology
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. Farmers use
Use synonyms
Add an article
the machine
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machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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for
Change preposition
to
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 cut the corps without
put
Wrong verb form
putting
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many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
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affort
Correct your spelling
effort
afford
. Government can give all
technology
Use synonyms
 to
Add an article
the farmer
a farmer
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farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
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with
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct article usage
a
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reasonable price.
Lastly
Linking Words
, it can be overall help to boost
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 economic power because
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of
GDP
Correct article usage
the GDP
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 portion is taken by
export
Add an article
the export
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 industry.
Machines
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 make
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 amount of
product
Use synonyms
 in less time
then
Linking Words
 export it into surrounding counties and ultimately it grows economy of that country. On the other
side
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, there are very less disadvantages but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can very
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
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 for
workers
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.
First
Linking Words
, poverty is
main
Add an article
the main
a main
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 concern for every nation and it will increase day by day.
Companies
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now
Add a missing verb
are now
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maily
Correct your spelling
mainly
 focused on
machines
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 rather
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then
Replace the word
than
show examples
workers
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. Ultimately, it can affect
to
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apply
show examples
workers
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 who earn
money
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 through their
work
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.
Secondly
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,
Machine
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 can damage some time and
compunies
Correct your spelling
companies
 pay very huge amount of
money
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for
Change preposition
to
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 repair
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Maintenance cost is very high and every month small portion of
Use synonyms
money
Add an article
the money
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 goes for repair.
On
Change preposition
In
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 conclusion,
technology
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 has very beneficial for better development but
companies
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 can get
work
Use synonyms
Change preposition
for those
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those worker
Change the determiner
that worker
those workers
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 who really
need
Correct pronoun usage
itneed
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. Some
industries
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 can not run on
Use synonyms
Add an article
a machine
the machine
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machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 and they need
man made
Add a hyphen
man-made
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 staff. so,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should get
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
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opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 for
workers
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 and let them know about
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 kind of
industries
Use synonyms
 where
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
show examples
force
Fix the agreement mistake
forces
show examples
 need.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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