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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019 summaries the information by slelecting and reporting the main feaures, and make comparisons where relevant.

the charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019 summaries the information by slelecting and reporting the main feaures, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summaries #information #feaures #comparisons
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The graph illustrates the relationship between
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of ownership of electrical apparatuses including washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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 and vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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 against the duration
Use synonyms
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
spent
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing chores in
individual
Add an article
the individual
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1920 to 2019. In 1920,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people spent around 50 hours per week
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household task because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that year did not have widespread
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
electrical equipment to help people
saving
Wrong verb form
save
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time
Use synonyms
. After that, the
owner ship
Correct your spelling
ownership
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 of electrical
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
 dramatically
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in 1980 which
affect
Wrong verb form
affected
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the number of hours of chores per week was sharply reduced to 15 hours in that
time
Use synonyms
 and rather stable until 2019.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electrical appliances is very important for everyone because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can reduce the
time
Use synonyms
 that
waste
Add a missing verb
is waste
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household task per week. Obviously seen from
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 data in
this
Linking Words
 report
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can confirm my perspective and inform everyone to know the benefit of equipment which can help you to do some chores.
Submitted by sahapol.rs on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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