IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The government is planning to set a higher driving age. The law will not allow young people below 21 to drive. Do you agree or disagree with this scheme?

It has been believed by some that allowance for youngsters to
drive
Use synonyms
 the car should be regulated more strictly by law. I wholeheartedly agree with
this
Linking Words
 plan and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will explore two major reasons why in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
.
First
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 of all, adults who
under
Add a missing verb
are under
show examples
 21
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 impulsive and by the adrenaline in the blood
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
usually do not understand how dangerous to be fascinated by
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
 driving style can be for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
For example
Linking Words
, when my friend got his driving
licenses
Fix the agreement mistake
license
show examples
, he was driving too fast and got
an
Change preposition
into an
show examples
 accident, where a person’s car was crashed and his leg
broken
Wrong verb form
broke
show examples
. In fact,
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
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 were not fatal,
nevertheless
Linking Words
 the trust of his parents and friends to let him
drive
Use synonyms
flied
Wrong verb form
flew
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 to the seven skies. Another reason why
this
Linking Words
 law will be supported by most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is that juveniles are not able to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 better decisions in emergency situations
such
Linking Words
 as flat
tire
Fix the agreement mistake
tires
show examples
 while driving.
For instance
Linking Words
, they might panic and cause an accident.
Thus
Linking Words
, another factor
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 18 years adults
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 yet mature as 21 years.
From
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, at 18 years old youngsters are given legal rights to vote, get married and travel alone.
Therefore
Linking Words
, giving them
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to
drive
Use synonyms
 the vehicle at
this
Linking Words
 age will allow them to travel freely.
Moreover
Linking Words
, adolescence is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the best time to learn new skills. So, they can acquire excellent driving skills if they are provided with an opportunity to
drive
Use synonyms
. To sum up, even though some might argue with me saying
law
Add an article
the law
show examples
 should not be regulated for driving age below 21, I would disagree believing it is totally inaccurate to the other road participants, where
safe
Add an article
the safe
show examples
is matter
Change the verb form
matters
show examples
 more.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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