IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #technology #effects #relationships
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It is argued by some that the state-of-the-art technological improvements in communication are deleterious to the relationship amongst people, whereas I state my view that it can bring some benefits to enhance the situation. On the one hand, social isolation might be the
first
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 consequence.
This
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 is because people are often substituting physical relations with electronic ones due to the innovation of the Internet, as well as smartphones and the emergence of other social networking websites in today's era.
Consequently
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, it is not common to see individuals gathering at the coffee shop for chatting.
Furthermore
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, people's social etiquettes are declining as the lack of social exposure and informal ways of transmitting messages.
For example
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, social platforms offer users shortcut ways of expression by using emotion icons and abbreviations. Resultantly,
this
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 can remove the formalities rather than writing full sentences or making gestures or postures to express their actions.
On the other hand
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, I believe that there is
further
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 evidence supporting these developments are not detrimental to human relationships.
Firstly
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, persons can keep in touch with others regardless of physical distance.
For instance
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, abroad students tend to contact their family just by a click on Facebook features within a half of minutes when compared with writing letters.
Therefore
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,
this
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 can keep building a strong family bond.
Secondly
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, there are several networking platforms providing users with plenty of opportunities to make friends, which contributes to expanding their social circles.
As a result
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,
this
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 can strengthen social connections. In conclusion,
although
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 the advancement of communication technologies are potentially harmful to human relationship, the two advantages above may demonstrate that they can promote interaction among society.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • messaging apps
  • social media
  • non-verbal cues
  • family bonds
  • dependency
  • digital communication
  • superficial relationships
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • social isolation
  • virtual connections
  • emotional satisfaction
  • real-life interactions
  • technological intrusion
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