IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #technology #relationships #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the present,
technology
Use synonyms
 is the most
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
 of society
such
Linking Words
 as learning and communication Some
people
Use synonyms
 are of the
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
 that
technology
Use synonyms
 affects
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
relationships
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
, while others hold opposite views. After careful consideration, I think that
technology
Use synonyms
 is a negative development in
people
Use synonyms
relationships
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 nowadays has
be
Change the form of the verb
been
show examples
 called the ara of science and
technology
Use synonyms
. During the covid-19, going outside is hard so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online communication is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
important because it can easily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
contact other
people
Use synonyms
. There are many platforms to share opinions
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
 the internet. In learning, replacing online-class
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 learning in
classroom
Add an article
the classroom
a classroom
show examples
 is a
conveniece
Correct your spelling
convenience
.
For example
Linking Words
, students can learn everywhere with the device and they can manage the time schedules to learn
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each day.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 causes to change the
people
Use synonyms
 interaction because of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 attention
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
to people
show examples
 around them. The number of
people
Use synonyms
 interested
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
technology
Use synonyms
 device
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 than the
people
Use synonyms
 who are beside them.
For example
Linking Words
, during the waiting for food at the restaurant, everyone will play social media
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their mobile phone. It
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 like that in the present
people
Use synonyms
 interaction with family or friends in real life is less than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past. In my point of view, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
face-to-face can make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relationships
Use synonyms
 more than contact via the internet.
People
Use synonyms
 can make new friends
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many platforms, it can use a fake picture profile. They do not know anything that they can believe.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 spent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing
Add an article
a game
the game
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 or watching series more than interacting with
people
Use synonyms
. In the conclusion, I strongly believe that many
people
Use synonyms
 can make good
relationships
Use synonyms
 without
technology
Use synonyms
. The improvement less interaction with other
people
Use synonyms
 is doing activities together.
Submitted by fahmaiganya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
What to do next:
Look at other essays: