IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?

#tendency #beings #copy #popularity #areas #fashion #consumer #goods
It is considered by many that vogue
industry
 and sales of different
products
 may
influences
Change the verb form
influence
show examples
 the capacity to
people
 to try to be same each other and I agree.
Instead
 of buying different
products
,
people
 many times
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
prefer
Add the particle
toprefer
show examples
 buy the most popular
products
 to stay fashionable.
Firstly
, many
people
 are influenced by the vogue
industry
 because these
business
Change the determiner
businesses
show examples
 try to sell the same product
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 an important or famous person. In fact, especially youths
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to
imitated
Change the verb
imitate
show examples
 either the clothes or some cars to demonstrate another status,
this
 can be
afect
Correct your spelling
affect
 in the behaviour and encourage to
people
 to obtain the same
products
 to another person.
For example
 in Chile, if a futbolist in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 advertisement
appear
Change the verb form
appears
show examples
 with special sneakers, many mas want to be like him buying the same
products
.
Secondly
, the capacity to copy each other is a natural behaviour of human beings, because we need to survive social pressure and
this
 is an important factor in their acts.
In addition
, the fashion
industry
 sales
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 created to
people
 copy the different models either their clothes or anything that
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
 dressed like pieces of
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
.
Besides
,
this
 show as
people
 want to imitate the models because
this
 business is one the biggest in the world earning a lot of money. I can say that the base of
this
industry
 is to encourage
people
 to buy the same
products
. In conclusion, the capacity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings to copy each other is a natural behaviour and I agree. I could say that in the vogue
industry
 we can see
that is
 a good example because their sales are extremely high.
Submitted by roberto.carrascopizarro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: