Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on their children. Why is the reason for doing that? Is this a positive or negative development for the children?

High
pressure
and
expectation
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expectations
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on
children
from
parents
is a
long-existed
Correct your spelling
long-existing
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phenomenon in our society, which more frequently happens to the younger generation. As far as I am concerned, there are two main reasons contributing to
such
a situation, and it has a more negative impact on the
children
.
Firstly
, the
pressure
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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originated from the imbalance between a large amount of population and limited educational and social resources, especially in metropolises and developing countries.
Therefore
, in order to ensure the
children
can access good-quality resources, the
children
must be not only eligible but stronger enough in
this
competitive selection with excellent performance.
Secondly
, high expectation from
parents
about
Correct article usage
a prefect
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prefect
Correct your spelling
perfect
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life is another significant factor. As
cherish
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cherished
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of
Change preposition
by
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parents
,
children
have
also
carried a wish from their
parents
that
Correct word choice
apply
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to be successful and to be perfect.
Thus
,
parents
are likely to
pay
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make
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high
investment
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investments
show examples
on
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in
show examples
children
to achieve a better life in the future, from higher school grades to extracurricular activities
such
as dancing, instruments and second languages. Those in-class and out-class activities certainly
push
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put
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pressure
on
children
. Despite the good record
children
achieved, I believe the negative effects overwhelm the benefits. The first and foremost problem is bad physical health. Regular exercise is important to
children
while
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but
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lack of outdoor activities and enough rest can cause
problem
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problems
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for
children
’s health, especially short-sightedness and obesity.
Moreover
, the mental problem cannot be ignored.
Due to
peer
pressure
,
children
have started
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start
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their
study
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studies
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in
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at
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an early age, which could narrow their playtime in childhood, neither shortening their well-being nor
socializing
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their socializing
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ability that should be developed in playtime with their peers. Meanwhile, a highly competitive atmosphere may
also
prevent them from
enjoyable
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enjoying
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friendships. In conclusion, I think success is not always linked with good grades and money,
hence
, society, both
parents
and the educational system may need to offer more space and options for the
children
to develop their own interests.
Submitted by dancedance5 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay provides a good structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, be careful with the use of transition words and cohesive devices to improve coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Your response covers the main points and ideas of the topic, but make sure to fully address all aspects of the prompt and support your points with more specific examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
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