Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The controversial topic with respect to the
Internet
on social parts never failed to attract public attention. Most people assert that it bonds/
unite
Correct subject-verb agreement
unites
show examples
community's
Correct article usage
a community's
show examples
relationships, but others disagree. As far as I am concerned, I tend to agree more with the former. First and foremost, it is evidently reasonable to believe that the
Internet
and news help individuals in long-distance to overcome geographical barriers and consolidate their relationship with each other.
For example
, family members get connected via Facebook or
Wechat
Correct your spelling
WeChat
.
Moreover
, the crowd, especially the younger generation, can find peers with the same interests. Information in online publishing can attract teenagers’ attention, so they will discuss topics together, strengthening their friendship. Another aspect is building business connections, via
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
show examples
meetings or
skype
Capitalize word
Skype
show examples
calls, with clients and potential partners. For
this
issue, others hold a different attitude, arguing that the
Internet
or media makes people become more isolated because it distracts their attention. To be more specific, the
Internet
or media takes up most of the public's time, so they don’t have a chance to make new connections.
For example
, we may hang out with friends or family members on weekends many years ago.
By contrast
, it may attract us to browse websites all day long, and lose the opportunity to form new friendships. Importantly, now we chat with friends using stickers and emojis online rather than using words to express feelings, which leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lack of face-to-face interactions.
As a result
, our communication ability is degenerating.
Lastly
, it may cause nervousness to talk to others in the real world, which
also
makes
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
difficult to broaden their social circle. 
To sum up
,it's quite understandable that people from different
backgrounds
Add a verb
backgrounds are
backgrounds were
show examples
different from different interpretations
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the same issue.For my part, I stand on the former that the
Internet
does play an important role in our social life,and we get a lot from it.
Submitted by 3378318880 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and detail. It would benefit from presenting a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is somewhat disorganized. It would be helpful to use clear topic sentences and transition words to improve the coherence and flow of your ideas.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: