IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #internet #communities
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The controversial topic with respect to the
Internet
Use synonyms
 on social parts never failed to attract public attention. Most people assert that it bonds/
unite
Correct subject-verb agreement
unites
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community's
Correct article usage
a community's
show examples
 relationships, but others disagree. As far as I am concerned, I tend to agree more with the former. First and foremost, it is evidently reasonable to believe that the
Internet
Use synonyms
 and news help individuals in long-distance to overcome geographical barriers and consolidate their relationship with each other.
For example
Linking Words
, family members get connected via Facebook or
Wechat
Correct your spelling
WeChat
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the crowd, especially the younger generation, can find peers with the same interests. Information in online publishing can attract teenagers’ attention, so they will discuss topics together, strengthening their friendship. Another aspect is building business connections, via
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
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 meetings or
skype
Capitalize word
Skype
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 calls, with clients and potential partners. For
this
Linking Words
 issue, others hold a different attitude, arguing that the
Internet
Use synonyms
 or media makes people become more isolated because it distracts their attention. To be more specific, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 or media takes up most of the public's time, so they don’t have a chance to make new connections.
For example
Linking Words
, we may hang out with friends or family members on weekends many years ago.
By contrast
Linking Words
, it may attract us to browse websites all day long, and lose the opportunity to form new friendships. Importantly, now we chat with friends using stickers and emojis online rather than using words to express feelings, which leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 lack of face-to-face interactions.
As a result
Linking Words
, our communication ability is degenerating.
Lastly
Linking Words
, it may cause nervousness to talk to others in the real world, which
also
Linking Words
 makes
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 difficult to broaden their social circle. 
To sum up
Linking Words
,it's quite understandable that people from different
backgrounds
Add a verb
backgrounds are
backgrounds were
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 different from different interpretations
on
Change preposition
of
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 the same issue.For my part, I stand on the former that the
Internet
Use synonyms
 does play an important role in our social life,and we get a lot from it.
Submitted by 3378318880 on

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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and detail. It would benefit from presenting a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is somewhat disorganized. It would be helpful to use clear topic sentences and transition words to improve the coherence and flow of your ideas.
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