Graduates who cannot find work in their chosen field should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Some people believe that if graduates cannot get their desired
jobs
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, they should prioritize studying for a second
degree
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over doing a job they do not feel fascinated with. I partially agree with
this
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statement because some
jobs
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really require higher education
while
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taking other
jobs
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probably can widen their thought. One main reason to support studying for
asecond
Correct your spelling
a second
second
degree
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is that there are several careers which require deeper specific knowledge;
therefore
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, qualifying for higher degrees increases candidates' creditability. It is undeniable that learning approximately 3 to 4 years in a bachelor's
degree
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is insufficient to perform real tasks, especially in technical fields, since that education provides only general knowledge rather than practical
skills
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.
Consequently
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, many companies require master's degrees or higher for some roles
such
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as economists, investment advisors, civil engineers, and even doctors.
On the other hand
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, graduates can gain practical
skills
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from any job
although
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they are not interested in it.
This
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equips them with valuable experiences and leads to higher chances of getting more desirable
jobs
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. Taking uninteresting
jobs
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might be considered a waste of time;
however
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, it helps students find themselves in other aspects, possibly unlocking them to a better future.
For example
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, a business owner, who failed to apply to top consulting firms,
finally
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joined a small business.
As a result
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, he got a lot of opportunities to learn more essential
skills
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such
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as accounting, finances, and stakeholder management, making him well-rounded and ready to be a businessman. In conclusion, some people think that it is better to push graduates to take another
degree
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if they cannot work in planned areas because it is better than taking a job they do not want. In my opinion, I slightly agree with
this
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argument because it is true that taking higher degrees can help them outstanding for particular careers.
However
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, practical
skills
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gained from other work are
also
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a way to discover themselves.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing stronger topic sentences for each paragraph to clearly indicate the main idea being discussed.
task achievement
Make sure to clarify your position in the introduction more explicitly to guide the reader.
task achievement
Include more examples or elaboration to strengthen your arguments, particularly in the second body paragraph.
task achievement
Your essay presents clear ideas and maintains a consistent viewpoint throughout.
task achievement
The use of specific examples adds depth to your argument, particularly the anecdote about the business owner.
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