Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Use synonyms
Violence
Correct article usage
The violence
show examples
rate has been increasing all over the world while it is growing up considerably among youths. The origins of
this
Linking Words
situation seem to stem from three factors, while several remedies appear to be open to us. The main reason might be the high number of idlers in the society and the pressure of
weak
Correct article usage
a weak
show examples
economy on the low- and middle-class level of society.
However
Linking Words
, it is by no means clear that rising the range of abuse of drugs and alcohol is frequently associated with inter-personal and civil
violence
Use synonyms
everywhere.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it might be considered as the
third
Linking Words
factor of increasing the crime among people especially youngsters that movie
violence
Use synonyms
could increase violent crime.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other word, exposure to gun
violence
Use synonyms
in movies might increase interest in guns in the real world and induce
audience
Add an article
the audience
an audience
show examples
to follow the harsh fantasies in the real life.
However
Linking Words
,
movie
Correct article usage
the movie
show examples
industry are caring about advising
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
audience before starting the movie. Turning to answers to these problems, an obvious step would be to improve the economy and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
hiring young and graduated experts.
However
Linking Words
, equal job opportunities for all people might be helpful for their economic stability.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, psychologists and teenage consultants could help students from the age of sensitivity.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, as long as governments provide cultural, sports and entertainments facilities for families and students, it would perhaps decrease their tendency to
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
drugs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is an enormous effect from media on all ages in which they are encouraged to take away from
violence
Use synonyms
indirectly. Overall, the factors of financial problems and family issues appear to be the main causes. A coordinated response by the state, the institutions and the individuals may well lessen the severity of the situation.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: