Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

#crime #countries #world #people #trend

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Use synonyms

Violence

Correct article usage

The violence

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rate has been increasing all over the world while it is growing up considerably among youths. The origins of

this

Linking Words

situation seem to stem from three factors, while several remedies appear to be open to us. The main reason might be the high number of idlers in the society and the pressure of

weak

Correct article usage

a weak

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economy on the low- and middle-class level of society.

However

Linking Words

, it is by no means clear that rising the range of abuse of drugs and alcohol is frequently associated with inter-personal and civil

violence

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everywhere.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it might be considered as the

third

Linking Words

factor of increasing the crime among people especially youngsters that movie

violence

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could increase violent crime.

Change preposition

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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other word, exposure to gun

violence

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in movies might increase interest in guns in the real world and induce

audience

Add an article

the audience

an audience

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to follow the harsh fantasies in the real life.

However

Linking Words

movie

Correct article usage

the movie

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industry are caring about advising

age

Correct article usage

the age

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audience before starting the movie. Turning to answers to these problems, an obvious step would be to improve the economy and

increasing

Wrong verb form

increase

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hiring young and graduated experts.

However

Linking Words

, equal job opportunities for all people might be helpful for their economic stability.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, psychologists and teenage consultants could help students from the age of sensitivity.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, as long as governments provide cultural, sports and entertainments facilities for families and students, it would perhaps decrease their tendency to

trying

Wrong verb form

try

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drugs.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there is an enormous effect from media on all ages in which they are encouraged to take away from

violence

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indirectly. Overall, the factors of financial problems and family issues appear to be the main causes. A coordinated response by the state, the institutions and the individuals may well lessen the severity of the situation.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Nov 07 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in the city in the UK.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing sof skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that teachers should be able to ask disruptive children to leave the class. Do you think it is the best way to deal with a disruptive child in the classroom? What other solutions are there?

In most cities and towns, the high volumes of road traffic become a problem. What are the causes of that and what actions could be taken to solve the problem?

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.