Obesity is an increasing public health problem in some parts of the world. Explain some possible reasons for this problem, and suggest some solutions.

It is assumed that obesity is a risk for the health of the population in various areas of the world
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and that the percentage of overweight persons is constantly rising year by year. Overall, the country most affected by the issues
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
the USA, but it is
also
detected in all the so-called countries of the "
first
world". These are the most affluent country, which is generally characterized by a sedentary lifestyle that means that the majority of people work in an office, in front of a laptop, have a short launch break and not so much time to spend on the preparation of the dinner. The consequences of
this
behaviour are the decrease in
sports
activities and the increase in the consumption of pre-cooked dishes or fast food. Noteworthy is the fact that North America is the motherland of fast food and only a few years later they have been widespread throughout the world. What is most concerning is the high percentage of obese children and teenagers. In my opinion, it is necessary to expand the awareness around these issues, starting from the schools. That means avoiding snacks on the vending machines and offering a variety of healthy food ,
for instance
, fruits and yoghurt.
Moreover
, another point is the awareness about
sports
activity. In my country, there is the possibility to join
sports
clubs through the school, and dedicate one day a week to
this
activity,
in addition
to the two hours of class dedicated to the gym. According to my personal experience, building solid fundamentals when you are young about the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle, practising a
sports
activity and paying attention to the diet, can create strong habits that will continue
also
for adult life.
Submitted by lirpina98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: