IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Question: Some people like to keep a record of their own experiences by uploading pictures and other information to social-networking sites. Other people prefer not to create such records. Which approach do you prefer, and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #record #experiences #pictures #information #sites #records #approach #support
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People
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 spend a great deal of time on social networks to
share
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 their own
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experience
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experiences
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 with other
members
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. There is a question in
this
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 regard: which is better to do? sharing recorded own
experience
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 in the
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social-networks
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social networks
show examples
 or not to do it? As it relates to me, I firmly believe that keeping a record of our own
experience
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 and uploading it can be beneficial. There are two reasons clarifying my point of view which are described as follows.
First
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, being in contact with others and
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share
Wrong verb form
sharing
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 their own
experience
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 can motivate both
members
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, the listener and the record-keeper. In
this
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 regard,
people
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 by uploading their own
experience
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 in the
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Correct your spelling
social networks
show examples
social-networks
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social networks
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such
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 as Instagram may reach a broad appeal which encourages them to do it again and insist on whatever they do.
Furthermore
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, other
members
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 who are in contact with
this
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 individual, who
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share
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shares
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 his or her own
experience
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, get
this
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person
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 as their role model.
For instance
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, when I was an undergraduate student, I used to
work
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 in the field of Robotics and I usually shared my own
experience
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-products that I made in the laboratory with my followers on Instagram. I believe that their comments about my
work
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experience
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 not only showed that how much my
work
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 influenced them but
also
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 encouraged me to spend a great deal of time on my project.
Hence
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, keeping records and sharing them on a
social-networks
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 is a kind of motivation for all
members
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. Another significant reason to be mentioned is that by sharing
people
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’s own
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experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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 on
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Correct your spelling
social networks
show examples
social-networks
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social networks
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, they may be able to find some
people
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 which are professional in their
work
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. In
this
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 vein, they are able to start a communication with them and increase the efficiency of their products. In the example which I mentioned in the
second
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 paragraph, I could find an expert
person
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 and
this
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 connection helped us to flourish our talents and
finally
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, write a high impact paper. To conclude, in my point of view the advantages of uploading
people
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's own
experience
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 with others on social-networking sites overweight the disadvantages.
First
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,
this
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 can make a great motivation not only for
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person
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the person
a person
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 who
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share
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shares
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 but
also
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 for
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person
Add an article
a person
the person
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 as a follower.
Second
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, helps the
people
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 to find individuals in the same favourites.
Submitted by ghalandarzadeh74 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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