Some people think that famous people can help international aid organization.

Nowadays, thanks to technological development,

people

Use synonyms

can easily know and follow a category called

celebrity

Use synonyms

. It cannot be denied that the influence of a

celebrity

Use synonyms

is expanding day by day. They involve directly to citizens’ knowledge about global

aid

Use synonyms

organization

Fix the agreement mistake

organizations

show examples

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

robust influence can lead to different effects, I would argue that

this

Linking Words

trend could bring about huge and positive changes to society. On the

one

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hand, some

people

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think that famous

people

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can lessen the importance of the problem.

Firstly

Linking Words

, wherever an idol appears, the crowd just pays attention to him/ her, not about why he/she is here.

This

Linking Words

can make the

organization

Use synonyms

unable to get much attention, definitely opposite with the main purpose. The more

people

Use synonyms

notice the

aid

Use synonyms

organizations, the more underprivileged life can be better, and vice versa.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there are a few

celebrities

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who just care for themselves. Fame is all that they want. They can find out lots of ways to improve their reputation, but no

one

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cares about the poor, no

one

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raises their voice hướng tới better lives for the poor.

Finally

Linking Words

, if there is a conflict between

celebrity

Use synonyms

and

organization

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, that

celebrity

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will ask fans not to support

this

Linking Words

organization

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That is

Linking Words

why

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

aid

Use synonyms

organizations’ goals cannot be fulfilled.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I still think

celebrities

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can bring meaningful changes to social activities. At

first

Linking Words

celebrities

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can encourage their huge number of fans to volunteer.

For instance

Linking Words

, during the recent flood in the Central region, singer Thuy Tien encouraged everyone to donate to help flood victims. A thousand items were sent from all over the country. It not only shows the Vietnamese honesty but the impact of famous

people

Use synonyms

as well.

Furthermore

Linking Words

celebrities

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are trusted by both local and international communities. They can do fund-raising easily, and succeed brilliantly. More

people

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will be inspired by these actions;

therefore

Linking Words

, in the future, more and more

people

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follow these loft ideas. What is more, the fan might imitate their idol. The fan may not understand why their idols do that, but they still follow and be copycats.

Lastly

Linking Words

celebrities

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are singers, actors/ actresses, so on, they can convey the purpose and the message of the

aid

Use synonyms

organization

Use synonyms

into their works. The more

people

Use synonyms

who listen, watch, read them, the more help is available to those in need. In summary, no

one

Use synonyms

can say for sure that all

celebrities

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are good;

however

Linking Words

, I believe they will be the ones who will make

Change the article

show examples

enormous and potential difference to society.

volethuyanh2004

Nov 7, 2021

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

418 words

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Some people think that famous people can help international aid organization.

Your opinion

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that government funding for schools should be spent on science subjects rather than on other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. To what extent do you agree ?

New technologies provided machines which replaced workers to do certain physical jobs and tasks. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?