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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all young people should receive full-time education until 18. To what extend you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
education of the youth is always the important issue that lots of pay attention to. it is widely believed that children under 18 years old need to
study
Use synonyms
 full-time and in my opinion, i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree partly with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Body paragraph 1
first
Linking Words
 of all, it is true that without full-time
study
Use synonyms
, children can earn more money and become more independent. indeed,
instead
Linking Words
 of spending time o
n g
Change preposition
apply
show examples
oing to school every day, they can take a
dvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
of t
hese
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
time to seek full-time jobs, make ends meet and do not have to depend much on their parents
Body paragraph 2
however
Linking Words
, hardly do kids find good jobs w
ith s
Change preposition
apply
show examples
table if they do not complete their
study
Use synonyms
 programs .due to a lack of academic qualifications and knowledge, students will not have many opportunities and priorities when they apply for well-known companies or organizations compared with other people who have various academic achievements.
Body paragraph 3
furthermore
Linking Words
, attending full-time education helps kids to be s
afety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
and develops stably. in fact, under 18-years-old kids do not develop completely about both physical and mental health physically and mentally so they do not know exactly how to protect themselves. they may be made use of by others as well as be easily injured.
in addition
Linking Words
, when they go to school, they can meet and have a variety of peers that they can easily t
o t
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
alk and share everything t
o
Change preposition
with
show examples
their friends
instead
Linking Words
 of meeting p
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
erson
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
who a
re
Change the verb form
is
show examples
really hard to find the same thinkings because of the age differences.
Conclusion
in conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 leaving school makes children b
ecoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
more independent, i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that it is better for them to complete
study
Use synonyms
 programs until they are 18 years old.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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