IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
It is argued that some
people
 better off working in the same
company
 for their entire life or hopping between
companies
.
This
 essay extends both perspectives in
such
people
 who stay in the same
company
 predominantly are pursuing the progression of their career.
On the other hand
,
people
 who change
companies
 may have an underlying motivation to increase their salary by negotiating it at the beginning of their recruitment process.
People
 who stay in the same
company
 over a lifetime are motivated to pursue their careers. One of the factors that support promotion in the
company
 is the duration a person has worked in the
company
. The management team assumes if an employee has
such
 a history of contributing to the
company
, the employee is expected to become an expert in his or her field.
For instance
, every two years,
companies
 give promotions to their employees who show good performance and deliverable results.
On the other hand
,
people
 who change
companies
 may have an underlying motivation to increase their salary. If a candidate holds notable achievements from their previous job which can be shown to the recruiters or even the place that they worked before was a reputable
company
, the recruiters may see the potential within the candidate and they are willing to pay more because of it. The candidate can leverage
this
 through the job negotiation process.
This
 is common practice in the tech industry where candidates' specialized skills become essential to run the business. In conclusion, some
people
 decide to change
companies
 several times to get a higher salary than their previous job
while
 others choose to stay in the same
company
 over the course of their life, hoping they progress in the career ladder.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses both perspectives outlined in the prompt, but more specific examples can strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Try to refine some of your sentences to make the ideas flow more smoothly. For example, you could combine shorter sentences or rephrase for clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frames your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents well-supported main points for both arguments, making it a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You stayed on topic and answered the question comprehensively, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: