Some people believe that art, such as painting and music, does not improve people’s lives, so the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#people #art #music #people’s #lives #government #money

Art

plays an essential part in our histories and cultures as a form of entertainment, as well as a therapy to cure certain types of mental conditions. I believe that governments should invest in the different forms of

art

since it improves

people

's life to a certain extent.

Art

comes in various forms and all of them entertain us in different ways. We feel varying degrees of stress in our daily lives, from the need to be at work on time to the need to make the ends meet and support our families. It is crucial to release

this

increasing pressure so that we will not get a mental illness, and

this

is where entertainment plays a huge role. Some

people

like to destress by painting while some

people

feel better after watching a comedy movie and laughing out loud or singing out their favourite songs.

For example

, I personally enjoy watching funny, reality TV shows on the weekends which energises me to start a new week.

In addition

art

is widely used as a type of therapy in today's health industry and accepted as a proven way to relieve some types of health conditions. Some psychologists get their patients to draw during the counselling sessions

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and analyse these drawings to diagnose their patients' feelings, especially when treating patients who suffered from a tragic experience.

Music

also

well known for its effects on our brain. Some

people

, who have trouble falling asleep, have to listen to instrumental, calming

music

to fall asleep faster, while some

people

play

music

to improve their concentration during certain activities.

For instance

, some surgeons like to turn on the piano

music

during their operations for better concentration. In conclusion,

art

helps in improving

people

's lives in some ways, and

thus

, governments should spend a certain amount of money on it.

Submitted by Wai on Mon Nov 08 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that art, such as painting and music, does not improve people’s lives, so the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

More and more people are buying food that is ready to eat rather than choosing to eat home-cooked food. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Task 1 The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

Should students choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying careers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

History is one of the most important school subjects, other people think that in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.