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Band 5.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the ​growing traffic and pollution problems.

#price #petrol #traffic #pollution
Nowadays, a many
number
Change to a plural noun
numbers
show examples
 of societies are declining their
life
 quality. In
this
 essay, I will explain the reasons why it
is occurred
Change to the active voice
occurs
has occurred
show examples
 and suggest possible solutions to alleviate
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues.
To begin
 with, it is evident that individuals have sufficient productions in daily
life
.
For example
, citizens throw away items
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are not old or used when they bore to utilize them.
On the other hand
, when
people
 consider and learn about recent environmental problems, they do not do that kind of
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
.
In particular
, sea pollution is one of the issues in recent.
This
 is because
people
 throw away plastic
supplement
Fix the agreement mistake
supplements
show examples
. If persons know about it, they must stop and reconsider their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Hence
,
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of
people
 absorb the knowledge about
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 which can show possible
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 for civilians.
Moreover
, there is no doubt that technology development might lead
these
Change preposition
to these
show examples
 problems.
This
 means that
people
 easy to use a lot of materials comfortably,
people
 are not likely to do
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
it themselves
show examples
.
For instance
, in the factory, the machines are working
instead
 of
Add an article
a human
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. It can produce their
production
Replace the word
products
show examples
 cheaper and more improve their quantity.
In contrast
,
people
 should less rely on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology. They originally developed their idea and invention.
In addition
,
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 population will be increasing in the future. As for
this
, we ought to bring back the handmade method
such
 as traditional items. As the result, they should take apart the developed
life
 and make materials by hand. To sum up, it has two causes to have enough
object
Fix the agreement mistake
objects
show examples
 and invention.
However
, it
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
possible to lead
Change preposition
to the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 low quality of
life
. They should avoid
this
 matter to learn
our
Change preposition
about our
show examples
 planet and be independent
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 comfortable items.
Submitted by ryohei.o532 on

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