IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #world #governments #focus #countries
Is it possible to remove poverty and other
problems
 from the world, and help all humans who are living on the Earth? what are the government's duties for helping their
people
 or other
nations
'
people
?
To begin
 with, I suppose, it is difficult for a majority of governments to remove
problems
 and helping to their
people
. In
third
 world
countries
, there are numerous difficulties for their
people
, and their governments need other
countries's
Remove the s
countries'
show examples
 help, so developed and developing
countries
 must help them. For ,instance in some African's
countries
, they need pure water and food for their
people
.
In addition
, it is essential to work for other
nations
 to help them.
Secondly
, In my opinion, I disagree with the title and I think every human are human and need it together. So the progressive
countries
such
 as the United States of America and Europian's
countries
 must help the poor
countries
.
Furthermore
, an Unprecedented issue in our world is poverty and the United
Nations
 organisation have to focus on all
countries
 that need their help. Some
problems
 arise from the reduced value of its money.
For example
 in Iran, we have some
problems
 stem from a lack of management. To conclude
this
 essay, there are numerous states in a country and for a government is a duty to give them opportunities equally, so it is difficult to help other
nations
, but helping other humans is a duty for all of
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 who are living on the Earth,
therefore
, we can get together to help ourselves.
Submitted by poorzamani_zp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: