Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is undeniable that
music
plays an important role in human being lives
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
mankind history.
Music
significantly contributes to our spirits. Numerous people claim that
this
is an excellent connection between
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
in variable cultures as well as different ages. In my perspective, I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
viewpoint.
First
of all,
humankind
utilizes melody to celebrate their happiness.
In other words
, by similar tempo and
rythm
Correct your spelling
rhythm
, songs could connect agonic hearts together,
hence
they multiply joyfulness to become a wonderful vibe.
For example
, we all know that in ancient
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
, kings always celebrated festivals after winning their battles; songs and dances in those performances were aimed to share the winning joyfulness from King to soldiers and citizens, together they enjoy
this
as a reward and widespread
this
satisfaction to the whole country.
Thus
,
music
is meant to bond
humankind
in a positive effect.
Moreover
, melodies work as
sophiciated
Correct your spelling
sophisticated
means to share ultimate sadness.
This
is because of slow flows and
sympathic
Correct your spelling
sympathetic
sympathy
lyrics in songs
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
could touch
listeners'hearts
Correct your spelling
listeners hearts
. Individuals may have the sense that their sadness is empathized not only by the composers but
also
by others who have similar
mood
Fix the agreement mistake
moods
show examples
.
For instance
, in a ballad concert in 2019, audiences shared their tears together while the singer sang a song telling a
struggle
Change the verb form
struggling
show examples
couple who
finally
Add a missing verb
was finally
show examples
buried on a hill.
Hence
, sharing tears together means they find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
common sense in emotion. In conclusion,
music
could work as a bridge to combine
humankind
despite different
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
, ethnic and cultures. My personal view strongly supports
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
bond both in positive and negative situations. In future, I believe that
music
would influence more in
humankind
because of its variable types.
Submitted by nthaotram on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: