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Band 6.5

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

#people #children #age #outweigh
According to WHO,
Vietnam
 is one of the countries with the fastest pace of ageing in the world and the ageing population is projected to be 61% of the population in the coming decades. The need for healthcare facilities and technological advancement to cope with the rising demand for geriatric care and It is legitimate to affirm that
Vietnam
 will be a potential market for medical devices and telemedicine services.
Moreover
, during the Covid-19 pandemic, the application of digital
health
 applications has brought gigantic benefits in surveillance, diagnosis and treatment of Covid-19.
Consequently
, the development and implementation of digital
health
 services could be very beneficial to both GPs and
patients
 as it helps lessen the workload and assist caregivers in monitoring
patients
 from home accurately, reducing hospital visits and the overload at public institutions in
Vietnam
. My goal after graduation is to pursue a career in medical institutions or universities in
Vietnam
 to conduct research regarding digital
health
 in the
Vietnam
 market and provide essential training to medical students as well as healthcare workers to enhance their knowledge and capacity of functioning and integrating digital innovations in diagnosis, treatment and monitoring
patients
.
In addition
 to
this
, I am
also
 passionate about starting a
health
 technology company and cooperating with like-minded professionals from various backgrounds to develop and implement digital
health
 solutions and products that can invigorate the quality of medical services and mitigate medical out-of-pocket expenses of
patients
. It could be an application, software or a medical device with an affordable cost that low- and middle-income households could afford.
Submitted by npanhtuan09 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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