IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

3.In many countries, truancy is a worrying problem for both parents and educators. What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community?

#countries #truancy #parents #educators #effects #child #community
The bar graph provides data regarding the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of citizens who paid a visit to various museums in London. Looking at the chart, it is immediately obvious that the most of residents in London spent their time visiting museums in August, especially with
British
Museum
.
In addition
, there were downward trends in the number of customers of
British
Museum
, History
Museum
 and
also
 National
Museum
 from August to October. From the bar
chart
Add a comma
,chart
show examples
 we can see that in June and July, the volume of inhabitants
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
show examples
 to each
museum
 was almost the same. In August, over 700.000 people paid a visit to
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
, followed by the level of customers of
History
Correct article usage
the History
show examples
Museum
, at 600.000 people. Around 300.000 people came to National
Museum
, compared to 400.000 customers who visited Science
Museum
. After two months, in October, there was a steady decrease to under 200.000 in the number of
customer
Change to a plural noun
customers
show examples
 who attended
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
Museum
. Simultaneously, the figures for citizens who went to History
Museum
 and
British
Museum
 fell dramatically to 250.00 and 450.000 respectively.
Submitted by caomyphuong3004 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: