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do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

#celebrities #money
There is a mindset that
stars
 are overrated,so they receive high payments for their job. In my opinion, there are more crucial occupations that should earn larger salaries than famous people. In
this
 essay, I will explain why.
To begin
 with, tik-tokers,who are global
stars
 nowadays, do not deserve to be paid that high by advertisers, brands and so on.The only concern they have is to dance in front of their camera,
then
loading
Wrong verb form
load
show examples
 those videos on the Internet.
Hence
,
such
 modern
stars
 do nothing useful enough.
Secondly
,the importance of football
stars
 is overestimated as well. Obviously,they should be commended for being talented and showing excellent games on the pitch.
However
, they are not as vital as doctors,teachers.
For example
,the salary of several players has started to account for over 100 million euros annually.
That is
exessive
Correct your spelling
excessive
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amounds
Correct your spelling
amounts
 of money,which is two times more than the income of a doctor,who saved lives of
hudreads
Correct your spelling
hundreds
, during
pandemic
Add an article
the pandemic
a pandemic
show examples
 in the same year.
Consequently
, higher wages do not really affect your productivity and
hepl
Correct your spelling
help
health
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the world.
Moreover
,
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 entertainment field is full of gifted singers,actresses,actors,
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
 they were born
this
 way.
As a result
, they did not have to spend years at universities, while important professions, as doctors and engineers must complete college studies,
then
 academies to become qualified specialists.
Subsequently
,well-educated people
sould
Correct your spelling
could
should
 earn more than just
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
well-know
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
 ones. To sum up,there is no necessity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 high wages for popular
stars
,as we have so many crucial lines of majors that have to be earned more.
Submitted by sassikovayasemin on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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