IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do, but others think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems well by themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #rules #parents #teachers
Parenting and guiding
children
 for their better future are quite complex tasks and people have different opinions on parenting styles. Some opine that
children
 should always obey the
rules
 imposed by the
parents
 and should follow
teachers
’ instructions.
On the contrary
, another group of thought says that
children
 should be given some freedom and too much stringency from
parents
 and
teachers
 could actually ruin their
life
.
This
 essay delves
with
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both viewpoints and
finally
 express my own opinion. On one hand,
parents
 and
teachers
 usually set some
rules
 for the
children
 and they expect the
children
 to follow these
rules
. In most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases,
parents
 and
teachers
 set
rules
 that are helpful and beneficial for the
children
.
For instance
, I can recall that my mother always expected us to wash our hands before eating any food. Sometimes we felt quite bored
to follow
Change the verb form
following
show examples
this
 instruction.
However
, we now know that it was quite a good habit that our mother instilled in us.
Similarly
, there are many other
rules
 that our
parents
 wanted us to obey only because they were good
rules
 and we, as
children
, had little idea about the negative consequences of disobeying them. Another example is the
time
 when I wanted to watch cartoons on TV in the evening but my
parents
 wanted me to go out and play some sorts of sports with other kids. At that
time
 it was quite an abhorrent activity for me but now I can realise how
this
 rule has actually helped me to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
sound health.
Thus
 not all
rules
 set by
parents
 and
teachers
 are meant to dominate the
children
 but to actually help them grow properly.
On the contrary
, it is quite hard to believe but actually true that many
parents
 ruin their
children
’s
life
 by being overprotective and being abusive. If a father beat a
child
 for silly reasons and a mother constantly follows and investigates what her teenage
child
 is doing, that will surely have a negative consequence.
Children
 who are always pressurised by
rules
 and regulations
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 their family members often end up being timid and hesitant. They lack many important characteristics in their adult
life
 and psychologists often attribute criminal activities due to abusing
parents
 and
teachers
 in childhood.
Furthermore
, if some
sorts
Fix the agreement mistake
sort
show examples
 of freedom are not given to the
children
 they often cannot expose their true potential in
life
. Again, severe punishment from
parents
 and
teachers
 can harm
children
’s ingenuity and can turn them into
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
immoral
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. Considering both of the views I personally think that parenting is a complex task and it determines the future of a
child
.
Thus
parents
 and
teachers
 should not be too much rigid about
rules
 and regulations as it would diminish
children
’s creativity, respect and potential.
On the other hand
, some beneficial
rules
 should be there as
children
 often fail to understand the importance of discipline,
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
time
 and hygiene. Wise
parents
 and
teachers
 know the type of
rules
 they should impose
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
children
 and what they should be flexible about.
Teachers
 and
parents
 should be friendly to a
child
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of the
time
 and in some cases should be strict for the betterment of the
child
.
Submitted by Pooja Dhindsa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: