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Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

#people #attention
In
this
 modern world of technology,there are two groups of
people
 who have conflicting ideas about advertising.The
first
 group believe that
advertising
Correct article usage
the advertising
show examples
 industry
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a tremendous effect on
encourage
Change the verb form
encouraging
show examples
people
 to purchase items,
however
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
 are against
this
 opinion and they opine that advertisement
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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commonplace nowadays.
This
 essay will discuss both perspectives.
To begin
 with,a huge number of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 have an opinion that adverts persuade us to buy things which are
show
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shown
show examples
 on commercial breaks or billboards and etc.To cue evidence, imagine
pre internet
Add a hyphen
pre-internet
show examples
 lives,folks of that time did not have
variety
Replace the word
various
show examples
options
Change preposition
of options
show examples
, they had to choose between two or at least three choices.
However
, nowadays due to
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and technology we see
commercial
Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
show examples
 every minute of our lives and choose the best decision between them.So we can say that
numerous
Change the article
a numerous
the numerous
show examples
 number of adverts can simply help
people
 to have
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 determination.
In
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On
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contrary
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the contrary
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,others have
different
Add an article
a different
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point
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points
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 of view, they maintain
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Tv, social media, society and etc are literally repetitive.
For instance
,
in
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on
show examples
 Youtube when you play a video you have to watch
short
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the short
show examples
 announcement for items between it and
this
 issue is really annoying and most of the time make
people
 mad.Overall,we can say too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 commercial breaks or adverts are merit and have no impact on
people
 anymore. To draw a conclusion,my opinion is
neutral
Add an article
a neutral
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 one.
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
show examples
 advertising
have
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has
show examples
 a special position in today's world but it should be proportional, not too much.
Advertising
Correct article usage
The advertising
show examples
 industry should find their proper way in the near future to attract our attention and convince us to purchase products.
Submitted by ghafooriarya on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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