More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,…) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purpose. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
The i
ncreasingly
popularity of Change the adverb
increasing
i
nternet
in recent years has witnessed a rise in the aAdd an article
the internet
mount
of people who allow their personal Change the quantifier
number
information
to be publish
online for various reasons. In my opinion, Change the verb form
be published
this
development is having negative effects on both individuals and the countries.
On one hand, set
up personal Wrong verb form
setting
information
on social media platforms can have a tremendous influence on their daily life. Not only they can get bothered by a group of uneducated people with their toxic thoughts, but also
run the risk of someone will steal their information
to conduct illegal behaviours. In the last
year, cyber robbing has contributed to over a millions
crime cases, cChange to singular
million
aused
many Wrong verb form
causing
internet
users to suffer from money lost.
Another example is that celebrities are more likely to get annoying phone cReplace the word
loss
all
and texts from the Fix the agreement mistake
calls
internet
, which can be harmful for
their mental health and Change the preposition
to
also
interrupt their daily life. Therefore
, it can be said that publish
our personal Wrong verb form
publishing
information
online can be dangerous for normal citizens.
On the other hand
, it also
affected the development of many nations. With the responsibility to provide a safe internet
environment, the government have to spent
a considerable amount of money every year to improve and expand their cyber police army. Change the verb
spend
This
has took
away precious materials that can be used for other purposes Change the verb form
taken
such
as develop
the infrastructure, uWrong verb form
developing
pgrade
the education system or fighting tWrong verb form
upgrading
he e
Correct article usage
apply
nvironment
pollution. Large countries like the US or Russia has lost millions of dollars in their fight with Chinese cybercrime in recent decades, which has slowed down their eReplace the word
environmental
conomy
development noticeably.
In conclusion, I believed that aReplace the word
economic
llow
our specific Wrong verb form
allowing
information
to appear online is dangerous and unnecessary, and people should be careful using the internet
Submitted by Andy on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite