IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #car #transportation #over-reliance #cars
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In today's modern world, the usage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private vehicles become more popular with any dwellers following the augmentation of transportation.The majority of
people
Use synonyms
 are depending on
pre owned
Add a hyphen
pre-owned
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 as their
first
Linking Words
 most means of
transport
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, it's crucial for us to evaluate the side effects as well as set out some possible solutions to get through
this
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 issue. On one hand,it is irrefutable that private
transport
Use synonyms
 is the most convenient way of travelling.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who cannot afford
cars
Use synonyms
 try their utmost effort to buy and get independent.
This
Linking Words
 way they can travel on their own time and within their comfort zone.
however
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, being confined to private
cars
Use synonyms
 can cause
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of health issues especially when
people
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 are too much dependent .
For example
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, research shows from The University of California that,
people
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 have started avoiding simple walks
this
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 is one of the major
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 of obesity and long term chronic problems.
Secondly
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,
cars
Use synonyms
 are the foremost source of environmental pollution throughout the world. According to Cop 26 conference held in Glasgow
this
Linking Words
 year, the world can lead to massive disasters if we are not able to control
emission
Add an article
the emission
show examples
 of gasses and toxic substances from vehicles.
Nevertheless
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, there is always a solution to every problem,
people
Use synonyms
 should use public
transport
Use synonyms
 to avoid pollution and Overcrowding on motorways. Government should improve
Correct article usage
the
show examples
local
transport
Use synonyms
 system by investing .
last
Linking Words
 but not least, residents of local areas choose to walk more often for small chores
as a result
Linking Words
, there will be a massive difference in overall health at the individual level as well as
Add an article
the
show examples
environment. To conclude,private
cars
Use synonyms
 have a great influence on society.
Therefore
Linking Words
 , an increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 are fascinated by having their personal
cars
Use synonyms
.whereas, transforming public
transport
Use synonyms
 and making it more approachable could be one of the solutions to
this
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 problem.
Submitted by Ak on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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