You wish to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to the university. In your letter you should ask about: the accommodation and fees possible scholarships and the qualifications required for acceptance.

Dear Sir, I am writing to enquire about some information with respect to my admission into your school. I am from France and would like to study at Manchester

state university

Fix capitalization

State University

show examples

, United Kingdom. I would like to know about your hostel accommodation; the available facilities, the rules and regulations,

number

Correct article usage

the number

show examples

of roommates, tenancy rate and how soon it will be available to students.

Also

Linking Words

, I

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

like to inform you that I have two kids

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

will be visiting me during my stay on the campus. If possible, can I know the various scholarship programs you have for international students? I do not have enough funds to cover the

five years

Use the right word

five-year

show examples

course I

wished

Wrong verb form

wish

show examples

to study in your college

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

I would prefer to work over the weekends.

In addition

Linking Words

, after receiving an offer from your institution, I would like to know the required documents you would want me to provide in order to complete my enrolment in your school

Change the punctuation

show examples

I went through the school's website but could not find any

such

Linking Words

information on the admission page. I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible to enable finish up my admission process. Yours faithfully, Racheal O Smith

Kemi111

Nov 10, 2021

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structure

Put the questions in new blocks. A new paragraph for each idea makes it easier to read.

coherence

Try to have one idea in each paragraph.

content

Be clear about what you want, and check facts about the course, uni, and location.

language

Fix tiny grammar and form errors, like using five-year with a hyphen and proper names.

content

Do not promise to work; say you may look for work or ask about work rules.

tone

Polite tone and a formal start and end.

content

You ask about the three key points: room, money, and papers.

content

You show you want to study abroad.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

200 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Accommodation
Fees
Tuition
Scholarships
Qualifications
Acceptance
International students
Course
Payment plans
Facilities
Eligibility
Enquiry
Dormitories
Language proficiency
Standardized tests
Campus
Inquire
Criteria
Assistance
Eager

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You wish to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to the university. In your letter you should ask about: the accommodation and fees possible scholarships and the qualifications required for acceptance.

Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for the environment and economy if people ate only the local food produced by farmers.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The modern-day world is growing more and more dependent on technology. What technologies do you think are going to be important in near future?

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.