Some people think that government should not give international aid since they have disadvantaged people like unemployed and homeless in their own country. To what extent do u you agree or disagree?

#people #government #aid #country

Society

feels that the

state

should not participate in international

aid

since their own

country

has merited

people

for instance

unemployed and homeless

therefore

it is imperative to consider our own

people

Change the capitalization

show examples

will elaborate in my essay

Firstly

,the

state

is mandated to take the responsibility of

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

own citizens to ensure they have basic needs through creating employment

however

currently

Add a comma

,currently

show examples

the lack of unemployment and homeless

people

is the most trending challenge in the

society

where the

state

has not factored in bringing any solution.

Inaddition

Correct your spelling

In addition

this

has resulted in criminal activities in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

such

that

people

are being mugged in broad daylight.

Secondly

,it is indispensable for the

state

to support the unemployed and homeless since it

also

prays

Correct your spelling

plays

show examples

a role in building the economy

such

that the

country

revenue would increase.

For example

in Rwanda,the

state

has prioritised

Change preposition

apply

show examples

creating jobs

such

that the

country

has the highest revenue collection.For

this

reason

Add an article

the reason

show examples

the

state

needs to create jobs for its own

people

rather before participating in international

aid

However

,it is a prerequisite for the

country

to join hands together with other countries in the international

aid

for a good reputation.

Moreover

, it creates a good rapport for the purpose of businesses

such

that good

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

create a good environment for export and import.

On the other hand

, every

country

has different challenges whereby it cannot rely on its own

therefore

by participating in

such

aids create an environment to be supported when the need arises.For

this

reason

Add a comma

,reason

show examples

as much as the

state

needs to support the unemployed and homeless it cannot run away from international

aid

as it has an impact. In conclusion,the

state

economy can be improved by creating employment

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

society

however

as they participate in international

aid

for a good reputation.

Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on Thu Nov 11 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that government should not give international aid since they have disadvantaged people like unemployed and homeless in their own country. To what extent do u you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many people these days change careers throughout their working life. What is the main reason for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for society as whole.

In the developed world,average life expectency is increasing.What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.