One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy

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Technological innovations have led

people

Use synonyms

to obtain quality medical facilities, which

further

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have stimulated the public to live longer. As per my perspective,

this

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sort of trend has more demerits than its merits, which would be discussed in the following paragraphs. In

this

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cutting-edge technological era, the average income of the majority of

people

Use synonyms

has been increased, due to which, they have become potent enough to attain expensive medical amenities;

as a result

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, there has been drastic improvement in elderly

people

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's average life expectancy.

However

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, children,

for example

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, are becoming more and more careless towards their parents because they have become materialistic, which has changed their lifestyle against the living standard of old ones.

Consequently

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, family conflicts have been arisen because of the differences in the thinking levels of elderly

people

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and youngsters.

Furthermore

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, the number of family members are swelling at a rapid rate almost in all nations, particularly in developing and underdeveloped countries.

For instance

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, in a nation like India, barely one family member earns and feed the rest,

therefore

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this

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problem has generated starvation and poor living standard related issues among the families.

In addition

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this

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, parents are not able to provide quality education to their adolescents, which

further

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has provoked ignorance. To conclude,

although

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, medical care should be of top-notch level yet masses should not neglect the drawbacks from

this

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shift.

Hence

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, the higher authorities should pay attention to incite the children to enjoy life in joint families as families are an inseparable segment of the public.

Submitted by jatinderpanaich328 on Fri Nov 12 2021

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consequences
improved medical care
life expectancy
advantages
disadvantages
healthcare
quality of life
population
economic burden
elderly
dependency
technology
ethical concerns

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