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Band 4.5

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #responsibility #governments #care #environment #citizens
Nowadays,
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 issues become more and more alerted to global mankind. In
this
 concept, who is responsible for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is always in controversial arguments around the
word
Correct your spelling
world
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. Numerous people argue that governments have to
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
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 for local and international
ecosystem
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ecosystems
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,
meanwhile
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meanwhile,
show examples
 others claim that the
citizens
 are the major portion of
this
 whole problem. My essay will discuss both of these viewpoints, followed by my own
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
. On the
one
 hand, because every person contributes to pollution
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
variable
Correct article usage
a variable
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 scale,
citizens
 should have their own parts in environmental protection.
In other words
, if each individual
Add a missing verb
is awares
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awares
Correct your spelling
aware
awareness
 of their activities to reduce personal
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
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 and
litters
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litter
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, the whole country will not suffer from harsh pollution,
people
Correct word choice
and people
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hence
 could enjoy
clean
Correct article usage
a clean
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, fresh atmosphere.
For example
, there was
one
 research illustrated that Vietnam was
one
 of
top
Correct article usage
the top
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 3 among
South east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
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asia
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Asia
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 in run-off quantity,
however
, the isolation policy
in covid-19
Correct your spelling
during the COVID-19
 pandemic which
elongated
Verb problem
lasted
show examples
 for 4 months led to
one
 indirect result that the total waste of Vietnam significantly downgraded
due to
 less plastic consumption.
Hence
,
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
one
 hand,
every body
Correct your spelling
everybody
show examples
 could reduce run-off waste on the Earth.
On the other hand
, some viewpoints indicate that the vast majority of run-off in the whole world is from large-scale manufacture which is mainly controlled by governmental
issue
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issues
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. Since manufacturing activities require significant energy consumption from fossil fuels and their poisonous waste may be dramatically over the recycling ability, the local environment would suffer from
unexpecting
Correct your spelling
unexpected
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disaster
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disasters
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 from those poisons.
For instance
, in order to maintain manufacturing steel
produce
Replace the word
products
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,
one
 company in central
vietnam
Change the capitalization
Vietnam
show examples
 threw tons of red poisonous mud straight
to
Change preposition
into
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 the sea, local
citizens
 evidenced thousands of
died
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dead
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 fish on the sea surface for months later;
local
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the local
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 government
then
 refused "permission requirement" from
this
 manufacture to
countinuely
Correct your spelling
continually
continue
 work in
this
 province;
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it must be decades to recover the sea area.
As a consequence
, officers should
supervisor
Replace the word
supervise
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 carefully local manufacturing to accommodate their policies depending on spectacular
circumstance
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circumstances
show examples
. In conclusion, each viewpoint shows plausible details
in
Change preposition
apply
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concerning environmental
issue
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issues
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. In my perspective,
although
 today
citizens
 have
Correct article usage
a senses
show examples
senses
Fix the agreement mistake
sense
show examples
 of surrounding protection, global governments should publish appropriate policies to prevent the Earth from
overpolluted
Add a missing verb
being overpolluted
show examples
.
Thus
, I am looking forward to seeing the shake hands of Presidents in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 Kyoto meeting.
Submitted by nthaotram on

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task response
Your essay contains relevant examples and ideas, but lacks in providing a clear and comprehensive response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates an adequate logical structure and coherence, but the introduction and conclusion need more development and clarity. Ensure that your ideas and examples are more effectively linked throughout the essay.
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