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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #show #hours #teacher #schools #four #countries #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates how much
time
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 each lecturer spent on educational activity
in
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at
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 different levels of
school
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 in
four
Correct article usage
the four
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 mentioned
countries
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 namely Japan, Spain,
Iceland
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, and the
USA
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 in 2001.
Overall
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, it can be seen that educationists in the
USA
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 gave out the highest
number
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 of
hours
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 to educate pupils
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 all levels of education than that
of
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apply
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other
countries
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.
Moreover
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, the
time
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 spend on teaching increased with the class levels in all
countries
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. Looking at the bar chart in more detail, in high schools in the United States,
teachers
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 spent just under 1200
hours
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 a year educating young people,
while
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 in Japan there were exactly 700
hours
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 spent on high
school
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 students.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in Spain and ,
Iceland
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 the total
number
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 of
time
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 spent by
teachers
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 were almost the same, amounting to 900
hours
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 and just below 900
hours
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, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
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USA
Correct your spelling
US
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teachers
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 spent approximately 750
hours
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 teaching elementary
school
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 students in 2001
while
Linking Words
 the
time
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 disbursed by Japanese
teachers
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
exact
Change the word
exactly
show examples
 600
hours
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. In
comparison
Add a comma
,comparison
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 the
teachers
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 in
Iceland
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,
time
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 allocated by Spanish tutors to educate elementary graders were just around 630
hours
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, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 almost 50
hours
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 higher than that of in
Iceland
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. Obviously, the
number
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 of
hours
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 given out by
teachers
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 in lower secondary schools in order to educate pupils in the
USA
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 was the highest,
while
Linking Words
 it was observed less
number
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 of
hours
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 were spent by
teachers
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 in
Iceland
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.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that In
Iceland
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, the
time
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 allocated by
teachers
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 to educate children in lower secondary
school
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 was measured to be the least of all
countries
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. In Japan and ,Spain the
time
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 allocated by
teachers
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 to pupils
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 measured
630
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at 630
show examples
 and 730
hours
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, respectively.
Submitted by nazliseydakorkmaz on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, school, countries, iceland, usa, number, hours, teachers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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