In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pay for them. Do you think the advantages that government pays the money outweigh the disadvantages?

It is beyond the shadow of
doubt
Add an article
a doubt
show examples
that education plays a part and parcel role in the life of learners because freedom of knowledge is the main objective of it. As it is true, the expenses related to education are fulfilled by the authority of many nations
however
, in lieu of these countries, the college and university funds are paid by the students. The impending paragraphs will
emunicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
enunciate
the reasons that why the aforementioned trend has more merits than demerits. Analysing the statement and explaining
further
there are myriad factors to be in
this
favour.
First
and foremost is that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
removing the burden of the fees from the juveniles mind, it leads their concentration on the study.What is more, it
also
increases the state of equilibrium among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scholars who
belongs
Change the verb form
belong
show examples
to divergent backgrounds, as an outcome children from deprived families
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
capable
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
order to
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
the study,
thus
it not only increase the literacy rate but
also
the civilization of a country.To epitome, a high-qualified populace is observed in the USA by paying all the educational costs. In the stuck contrast, the detrimental effects of bearing the tutions can not be underestimated.
Firstly
, it will be created
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems for the government to make some benefits for the other sectors like transportation, farming and medical as well,
hence
due to the dearth of funds from these
sectors
Add a comma
,sectors
show examples
it will be produced the threat to
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
growth of a country. To conclude,
although
both of views have their own significance , yet I personally believe that if government pays the study expenses of undergraduates it brings more advantages to both the individuals and the whole nation as well.
Submitted by HMP on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: