IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#education #component #school #program
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Nowadays, it is argued that
finance
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important issues,
Use synonyms
Add an article
the school
a school
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
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 should allocate time in the curriculum for
this
Linking Words
 topic to educate
students
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how
Change preposition
on how
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 to deal
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when encountering
in
Change preposition
apply
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the real world. I believe that educational institutions have to teach their
students
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 financial
education
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, educating
students
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 about financial issues is very important because of many practical benefits, learning about
finance
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 prepares
students
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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future life.
Also
Linking Words
, financial studies
in
Add a hyphen
in-school
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school
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 programs will improve the
students
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' academic educational results and it leads
Add an article
the student
a student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 to be prepared either in the job market or personal life. If financial
education
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 would be mandatory,
students
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 will follow it seriously, so they will choose
finance
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 as an academic field with a better prospect.
secondly
Linking Words
, in today’s economic crisis that involve nearly all countries, those which put financial
education
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 in
school
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 curriculum would deal with the financial disasters more easily. Nowadays, many adults have some monetary problems and
lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
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 the capability of financial analysis. Quite often, the reason can be the lack of foundations or insecurity about financial terms and concepts. Starting to learn financial issues from
the
Correct article usage
an
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 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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, create a strong background that
prevent
Change the verb form
prevents
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such
Linking Words
 situations. In conclusion,
finance
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 as an everyday activity which is a crucial subject in the future
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 requires
school
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education
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. I agree that financial
education
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 should be an obligatory
parts
Correct the article-noun agreement
part
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 of the
school
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 schedule.
Submitted by cena.m.89 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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