Criminality is growing among children and teenagers. Why is this growing and how should these criminals be treated?

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Over the past few years,

Use synonyms

crime

Replace the word

criminal

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cases are seen to be proliferating at a faster rate amongst youth.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon has reached

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

an alarming level where expert views are required on its causes and possible solutions. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will

first

Linking Words

address the possible reasons to fully understand what has led to its increase.

Then

Linking Words

I will elaborate

possible

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on possible

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solutions to tackle

this

Linking Words

problem.

First

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and foremost, attraction comes from watching

crime

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shows which are being aired on television.

Crime

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petrol is a common example of a documentary type. One of the most important and dangerous facts of persuading young people letting them

Change the verb form

apply

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imitate like criminals is unemployment.

For example

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, a graduated teenager with no suitable job and opportunity can lead him to steal or earn money by doing illegal work. Media is the biggest source of the trend set in our society.

This

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is where most youngsters get influenced because they are not mature enough to differentiate between good and bad things and ideas. They try to do whatever they see

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apply

show examples

onscreen. Blue whale game is an example

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

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caused almost 200 teenager deaths in 2016.

This

Linking Words

game advised them to do different and difficult tasks. Eventually,

this

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ends up by committing suicide. Another concern is the lack of family support.

This

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can be the cause of working parents.

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is why

such

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parents spend little time with their

children

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Therefore

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children

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become desolated and isolated which results in ignorance.

Thus

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, losing their mental power and

then

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they commit

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Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

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Consequently

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, either some of them fall under anxiety or some get addicted to drugs.

On the other hand

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, as every lock has its own key so there are multifarious consequences to overcome

this

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peril. Government should open more and more job opportunities for youth. So that they can have convenient lifestyles by living away from anti-social activities.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Add an article

the parent

a parent

show examples

parent

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parents

show examples

should spend some quality time with their

children

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and provide them

moral

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with moral

show examples

and ethical values with good behaviour.

Lastly

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, every school should make a

Correct your spelling

parent-teacher

show examples

parents-teacher

Correct your spelling

parent-teacher

show examples

meeting once a week. To conclude, we must take care of our

children

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and help them to step in the most possible correct way.

Additionally

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, it is important to offer young people the prospects of work and education.

This

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will keep them from embarking on a life of

crime

Use synonyms

akrammum12

Nov 13, 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

388 words

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Criminality is growing among children and teenagers. Why is this growing and how should these criminals be treated?

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