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Band 4.5

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time
To make bright future of a nation we ought to overlook to the
children
 how they pass
leisure
time
 with different activities.
However
, few individuals
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
children
 should pass free
time
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 by learning something instructives
otherwise
 it counted as
waste
Add an article
a waste
show examples
 of
time
.I am in agreement that
youngstar
Correct your spelling
youngster
 should capitalize
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 free-
time
 activities by gaining new things,which is important
accodring
Correct your spelling
according
 to build
a perfect individuals
Correct the article-noun agreement
a perfect individual
perfect individuals
show examples
.To illustrate that
prarticipate
Correct your spelling
participate
 in
sports
Add an article
a sports
show examples
 event to gain experience and reading books in
leisure
time
 to know well. To commence with,
children
 usually play in their
leisure
time
 , which is considered in the afternoon.
Althrough
Correct your spelling
Although
, sports is free
time
activties
Correct your spelling
activities
 they should learn and play their best to reach them
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
 level.
For instance
,
sakib
Correct your spelling
Shakib
 al
hasan
Change the capitalization
Hasan
show examples
, who is
cricketer
Add an article
a cricketer
show examples
 and top allrounder in the world.
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 was
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 student of BKSP, which is well-known as sports learning institute. with integrity and hard
work
Add a comma
,work
show examples
 he has reached the ultimate level of success .
Therefore
, if the
children
 pass their
leisure
time
 with a view to learn new thing that would be
boost
Add an article
a boost
show examples
 for
thire
Correct your spelling
their
this
 life.
On the other hand
,reading book is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
. the
children
, who intend to discover something I would say there is no alternative of reading book .
For Example
. nine years of age professor Bari, who is American born
bangladesh
Change the capitalization
Bangladesh
show examples
children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
show examples
 known as
youngest
Add an article
the youngest
show examples
 professor in the world. he started reading when he was four
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
.he realized into action his
time
 by reading books.hance,if you want to improve yourself by early age you should well- use of
time
. To
summaries
Correct your spelling
summarise
show examples
, The nation, who are dominating the world by new invention
first
 they
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 created
Correct your spelling
instructive
instrucative
Correct article usage
an instrucative
show examples
 atmosphere for their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
.
besides
educatinal
Correct your spelling
educational
Correct your spelling
activities
activitie
Add a comma
,activitie
show examples
 they utilize their
leisure
time
 by learning new things .
Submitted by noyon.cyv on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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