Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, communities have different views about whether melodies play a crucial role in bringing crowds of a variety of civilizations and

ages

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altogether. I think

although

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singing is an important action for bringing crowd who accustomed to another culture and who have different

ages

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from others together, it is still is not a necessity. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that melody plays an important role in every society,

therefore

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, authorities take place some international soul tournaments like Eurovision and it is undeniable that many countries musicians can attend these events. More ,importantly the public who have different

ages

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and civilizations can be met in the same place in

this

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action.

For example

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, if

this

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type of melody competition is stopped and removed completely , the community who are attending

this

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type of rock competition cannot take a chance for gathering other

people

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who have different

ages

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and fashions.

Consequently

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Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

still

Add a comma

,still

show examples

melodies are the best action for meeting and gathering different

people

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who are living in other countries and accustomed to other cultures.

On the other hand

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, it is no secret

people

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have different

music

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tastes in order that some young generations are reluctant to listen to old generation melodies.

This

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means that some

people

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who have different

music

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tastes cannot meet and gather in the same place for the same purposes

such

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as international

music

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competitions.

For instance

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, if one tries to gather

people

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for

this

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purpose

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, probably

this

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person can face some problems because of different pleasures

such

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as some disrespectful situations,

this

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means, some youngsters can be done some disrespectful things to other

people

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who are aged and accustomed to different countries.

As a result

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music

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is not the best way for

this

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purpose

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always,

thus

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, other great ways can be thought by the government and

people

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for

this

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purpose

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. In conclusion, I think even though

music

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plays an essential role in today's world and can be useful for meeting

people

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in different cultures and

ages

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, is still unimportant and other ways can be found for

this

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purpose

Use synonyms

faridqahramanov7Sat Nov 13 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Most have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals. During festival periods people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Is there advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?