IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some believe that it is beneficial to show foreign films while others feel this can have a negative impact on local culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #show #films #impact #culture
It is believed that international
films
 bring benefit to us but others see that it can create a negative effect on local
culture
. In my perspective,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 lean forwards to the advantages of them though there are some minus points. On the one hand, foreign
movies
 are the tools for other countries to propagate the negative things on local
culture
 through
this
. China is the typical example, they use the map with the nine-dash line to conduct the land invading with Vietnam.
In addition
, the development of international
films
 is too fast,
besides
 that some content
are
Change the verb form
is
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 not suitable to the local which leads to the imagination in life.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
films
 about superheroes can make people thought themselves that they are heroes too.
On the other hand
, if everything is strictly under the control, we will receive more than we lost.
Firstly
, due to the good quality and content,
this
 will be a big opportunity for every cinema to have high revenue. Take the movie namely “The avengers”, due to it, many cinemas in Vietnam had a large amount of money through the income. On the other side, we can have some occasions to experience the overseas
culture
 through their
movies
 that help us expand our knowledge.
Finally
, nowadays, our
movies
 business are not good enough so foreign
films
 are the pioneers for us to learn and get motivation for development. In conclusion, the benefits of showing foreign
movies
 will come to us when we can put the strict rules for the negative impact on
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 problems.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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